My entire life I have been in and out of therapy, off and on

My entire life I have been in and out of therapy, off and on medications, I have never had a breakthrough until 2013 when a therapist name Lisa was handed my file that my oncologist/professor had sent her. I was weighing in at a whopping 330lbs which is a lot of weight for my tiny 4'11 frame. By that time I became accustomed to morbid obesity and was slowly wasting away. I ate healthy, I was active but something wasn't right, I just figured the hell with it, I love food I guess but I was left with a massive weight gain from brain tumors and digestive disease. So gastric bypass was up next for me and with bypass a therapist needed to sign off agreeing to assist in managing my emotional well being post weightloss. Lisa was said to be intrigued by my history so she had followed my life and recovery ever since even now though I am no longer a client.
Now I am having issues where I can't see my own new body. I am now 109lbs but will still accidentally purchase a size 22 in pants. I wear a 7 now. I don't like talking about my surgeries much because I am ashamed I was unable to lose weight myself but this was far from the easy way out. Everytime I go under the knife I always wake up missing a lot more body parts than expected, turned out feet of diseased intestine was removed and not only was my stomach stapled all but an easter egg sized pocket was completely removed altering my digestive track forever non repairable.
So here I am, deciding to take a different turn on this path way to success.
Self esteem
mental stability.

@Fait WOW! That is a lot to handle. I'm so sorry. Do you embrace traditional religion or spirituality?

@kgmaxwell I don’t really embrace either???