Hello everyone, my name is Laura and I am new to this. I am originally from Europe so please excuse my spelling and grammar mistakes.
And now where to start........
I am 25 years old, married for 2 and half years. I have been verbally abused by my mom when I was child. She would always tell me what a hard pregnancy she had with me and how I don't appreciate her giving me a life. I would be always jealous of my brother because she would give him so much love and he would just always be better in many ways. First time I have committed a suicide was when I was 16, I just could not take it anymore. My dad was an alcoholic and I think that was his way to get out of all the reality.
Right now I am living in Florida. I have been seeing a therapist for the past month who had open my eyes and found that I am being abused by my husband now too. I always though that there was something wrong with me , that maybe we just grown apart, that's why our marriage is not working but now I see that I am being abused. He yells at me for no reason, everything is always my fault and I am just thinking how much more of this I can take.
I have been thinking about divorce for some time, but I am financially dependent on him, so it's not that easy.
And I also don't won't to be alone. That is my major problem in my life, when I was running from one relationship to another just not to be alone. And I am wondering if I ever find the man who will love me for who I am. Or I am going to run from one abusive relationship to another?
Is anyone going to write me something back?
Laura
How has your husband been abusive to you?I was also in an abusive relationship ..not really aware that I was in an abusive marriage.I suggest you check out thre power and control wheel..that really opened my eyes to how much abuse there really was in my marriage he was emotionally abusive and sexually abusive to me. .I was also dependant on my ex..I couldn't really even think for myself.Its scarey to be alone but I know I can't allow myself to live in that kind of environment anymore.You do feel worthless.I always felt like there was something wrong with me also..I developed an ED before I met my husband,but living in a controling relationship from day one really effected my well being.I was given the silent treatment for weeks ..walked on egg shells ..was afraid of him..he never physically hit me in the marriage but his words and actions were devastating to me.He made me feel worthless.Once I named it as abuse ..I couldn't allow myself to stay in it.
I started to learn that I deserved better..I had to have self respect.you will never be happy if he can't see how he is treating you..and honestly it is very hard for those that are abusive to admit that they are.
I think you may start to see that he falls into other categories of abuse.No one deserves to be treated this way.
here is a good website for you to check out
http://www.letswrap.com/dvinfo/wheel.htm
LOVE
Grace,
thanks a lot for writing me back. I think mine is emotional abuse from my husband and I just can't deal with it. I would be blame for anything in the world and be yelled at for a little thing. I am just thinking how much more one person can really handle. And you are right, he thinks there is nothing wrong with him. I am glad to have a therapist who I can talk to about anything and he has been a great support to me. Thanks also for the website, I go check it out.
No one should have to be treated that way..I hit my breaking point.I just could not live with it anymoreI hope that you have someone that you can find for support ..any friends?If you decide to leave him ..there are womens shelters to help you.I would even document things so you can use for proof..if it gets to a point where you leave him ..and they will apologize in fera of you leaving them ..but it always goes back into a cycle.Its too hard for them to change unless they admit they are abusive and want help.
I hope you found the website helpful!
My therapist recommended me to have always the number for the shelter with me and few personal things so I am ready to leave. But I am not sure if that's the place I want to end up in. It makes me sad when i think of all the people being threated this way. My husband is alcoholic also, but never really hit me or anything, I think I have learn how to stay away from him in situation like that.
Bad thing is , I don't have any friends here, but my therapist has been great support to me..
Yes the website helped a lot
Hey Laura..
I am a guy and I was in a abusive relationship. I am a foreigner living in Florida as well.Nobody will ever understand how to react and how mentally, financially, emotionally and physical the abuse is..
Even today, after long years that happens I haven't been able to recover completely mentally , and that was embarrassing.
One day I just planned to leave, got a place, call the cops and they let me pick up my things under a lot of pressure and yelling . I got my life together again.
You need to PLAN it..
I wish you could find that niche, a place where you could feel happy again..
Nobody deserve to be abuse.. Nobody..
I wish you the best..