My girlfriend is having a hard time because I'm not out. I'm

My girlfriend is having a hard time because I'm not out. I'm still trying to figure out how to end my marriage without losing my friendship with my husband and I'm terrified that because I live in the south, if it comes out that I'm Lesbian I'll lose my baby girl.
And even though my husband has been abusive and treated me like garbage, he has also treated me good at times. I still love him and value his friendship. His bpd is what makes him abusive, and I know he never really wanted to hurt me. It's so hard for me. I know I won't be happy with him. I can't be. Having sex with a man makes me feel physically sick. And I cannot handle his bpd, he refuses to get help or take medication. So I know I don't want to be with him.
But my gf is scared that I will hurt her. She wants us to be official and I understand that. I'm so scared though and I don't think I'm ready. But I don't want to lose her. I love her.

1 Heart

As a gay man in South Alabama I can say most people don't care about homosexuality around here anymore. I'm not saying there won't be challenges ahead, but it seems your heart knows what to do already. Don't let fear hold you back, I did that for too long.

3 Hearts

@lumwood3 Thank you for your advice. I live in Alabama as well. The area I am from flipped out when beauty and the beast came out and it was banned because of homosexual content. Seriously. Its bad here. And my family is extremely religious. I do want to come out, but I know I will lose them. There is already tension between us because I left their religion. It is so hard And scary. I will come out one day. But I’m just not ready. I don’t know when I will be.

I’m sorry, that’s hard. Personally, I don’t put any pressure on myself to come out (I’m pansexual). My family is accepting but I’m not comfortable with them knowing. I’ll do it if/when I’m ready, but I don’t think it’s gonna happen for years so I don’t worry about it. I do completely understand the fear though.

2 Hearts

@hopexo you are so fortunate to have an accepting family. Mine would shun me if I hadn’t already had my baby. But now that there is a child I’m sure they’ll keep me in their lives for her sake, but the will never treat me the same.