My heart has been shattered into a billion peices

I am new to this site. I don't really know what to expect...
I do know that I feel alone. I am hoping to find people that know what I am going through...
My best friend/soul mate/my hubby of 17 years, was killed in a motorcycle accident in August and it was brutal!
I know it has been 7 months, but I just can't seem to except it. He was my rock. He was my everything. My heart literally hurts.
waking up every day day is a nightmare!
I just am so lost.. He was only 32, we had so many dreams and goals... Now he is just gone...

Dannyswifey, I am so very sorry for your loss and express my sincerest condolences. There is no real timeline when dealing with grief, you have to allow yourself to feel these emotions. Though, at a certain point, it is healthy to start slowly but surely being around others and getting out a bit. Do you have family and friends nearby? If so, do you spend time with them?

Please know that we are here for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you for your kind words and advice.
I went through a phase were I isolated myself in my home for a few month or so.
I do get out now. I have an amazing support system… I truly do. My mom, dad, siblings, best friend and my church are there for me on a constant basis. But… I still feel so alone. I am so depressed and sad all the time.
My hubby was just such an amazing person. He has been my best friend and a constant in my life since I was 14. That is 17 years of my life! I just can not seem to wrap my brain around what has happened. I just can not believe he is gone. I am fully aware that I have to move forward. I know he wouldn’t want me to stop living. It is just so hard.
I feel broken…

Not unusual what you are feeling.... Totally acceptable. Know this, it will take time, probably more than 7 months. You just do whatever feels right for you. You will be OK.

Dannyswifey, I am so happy to hear that you have such strong support and love around you, as that's so incredibly important. Though, I can imagine that regardless of how many people you have around you, no one will replace the void that you are feeling. Take all of the time you need to feel these emotions and please keep sharing with us, we are here for you.

Thank you

Of course, please keep sharing. We are here for you!

I'm so sorry for your loss! I lost my husband 4 months ago in a car accident he was young also only 24 I know how hard it is and the pain you are going through! My husband was my everything also. The only advice I can give is don't think about getting through the years the months the week s or even the next hour just take it min by min! I'm here anytime you would like to talk and tell me all about him or if you're having a bad day feel free to send me a mess anytime. Take care and hugs to you -----Chelsea

That means a lot! Thank you.
I am so sorry for your loss!
This is so hard to talk about…
It is also so weird to have people actually know what I am going through. It is comforting in a way. I wish none of us had to go through this, but I guess this is life.
Today was a bad day. I am having issues with his sister… I love her so much and I have known her for many years. She is not handling this well either of course. But she keeps telling me I need to move on. IT ANGERS ME! It makes me wana punch her :O( I wouldn’t of course. It just hurts me deep… It has only been 7 months since he has passed! Really? move on? NO WAY! Danny is my soul mate. I am only interested in putting the peaces of my heart together and find out who I am with out him… I am so scared. But I need to live… He would want that… There is just so much We have been through… so much! He almost lost me 3 times 2 years ago! I got through it, I fought for him. We have so many goals and dreams! Then BAMM he is gone! I don’t know… I am just so not good tonight… Thank you for listening.
I am here for you too!
If you wana share your story with me, I am here.

I lost my sister and brother in law on July 9, 2009. 8 masked men broke into there home and shot them each 5-6 times. She was and still is my world. I miss them both very much. I don't know how to think of her and not break down and cry.

My heart goes out to you hun.
I am truly sorry for your loss. That is so much to handle! I cry all the time too. It’s ok to you know.
You probubly will for a long time.
You are in my prayers. I am here for you. You can talk to me any time.

angelbaby

its ok to cry for your loss and be frustrated with what might have been and angry scared soemtimes u need to move forward with help from others in a face to face group so u can get to the bottom of your fears that might be holding u back from the grieving process that has to happen

u can look for free grief counsuling at hospices or churches some community centers have them as well

but be kind to u and chat here

love D :)

Thank you

Dannyswifey

It's perfectly ok for you to feel as you do right now and take your time, telling someone to Move on is Not appropriate from anyone, and they need to mind thier own.

Different people have different comfort levels of when they should "Move On" and really, it hasn't been a year, If you came to me and asked? When is a Good time to move on and see others? I would ask you, How long has it been? If you said several years, I would probably tell you to start thinking about it, Moving on, unless you freely choose to remain a greving widow for the remainder of your life, and you have that right as well. It's really up to you.

Everyone reacts differently, there is no cookie cutter time to "Move On". You will know when the time is right, when you can look back with fondness, and put his picture away.... I dated a gal a while back who lost her partner several years ago, took her 2 years to feel like it was time to date again, so you see, you are fine.

I feel the same way. I've been widowed now for just under a month. I don't know what to do. I lost my husband of 10 years to a sudden, tragic accident. I was there when it happened and I felt so helpless. we were both certified responders but somehow when it happened to him I felt like I failed somehow. Now I feel so lost and alone. I cry all the time, and I miss him so much. We were so very happy together. He was my best friend, my confidant, my whole world. He cheered me on when I was down, and celebrated heartily with me when things were great. We had so many dreams we wanted to share...so many things we wanted to do. I love him so much and I just can't imagine a life without him. I find myself praying desperately for some sort of sign that he is near me...watching over me...making sure I'm okay. I just don't know how to find the will to go on. Everyone tells me it will take time....but this hurt I feel is overwhelming. What now?

There are no words… I am just so sorry for what you are going through. I wasn’t even there when my husband was in his accident, and I still have nightmares like I was there! My thoughts and prayers are with you. I would like to keep in touch. I feel we have this terrible heart breaking thing in common. I don’t know about you but I need all the support I can get. I would love to stay in touch. If you want this to be more private you can email me too. Please feel free to share with me.

diverdeb

thinking u have failed is a common one but let me tell u that u havent failed u were there in good and bad times u did everything u could to make your relationship happy and valid and if he was here he would tell u not to be daft u were the reason he lived and sadly he had to leave earlier than u but he still cares and is watching over u

its only been a while and i guess u are at the feeling guilty stage of emotions wanting to be angry and cross cos u are sad but thats all natural and necessary to process the grief that we have to let out
so just for today tell yourself u have nothing to be blamed for and be kind to yourself
and if u would like to share and talk about him i would love to listen
have a better day

love D :)

Dannyswife...I definitely need all the support I can get so I will keep in touch. I spent all day yesterday watching home videos of us on trips and with family. I was so lonely and sad. I have great kids who are doing their best to support me and do what they can to make me feel better. They are all grown adults with lives of their own now and I don't want to be a burden on them. I just miss my husband so much and I do feel cheated out of the dreams we had together. Thank you for being there and listening to me. I feel as if you guys understand what I'm going through better than any of my friends or family. It does help to be able to talk to people who have or are experienceing the same thing.

I'm sorry for your loss. It has been over two years since my husband died, and I feel exactly the same way. For me, time has only made the pain stronger. It does not seem like I will ever be the person I was before he died. He brought so much joy and purpose to my life. I knew I had found a partner for life when we met. He was everything to me, and without him my life seems empty.

Hello dannyswifey, I am so sorry for your loss~ I wish I had all the right words to comfort you. Please keep strong and take hope in the everlasting love of your soulmate; love never dies. You are not alone, please remember that. My thoughts & heart are with you~