My hubby is trying to get me to come back but hes walked out on us twice...can he change?
Every person is different. And we don't know him. So that's kind of a hard question.
But if I had to guess, I'd say that although people CAN change, they usually don't. And if he's walked out on your twice - and you say "us", so maybe you have children? - I would think that it's likely that he'll do it again.
Do you feel that you or your children deserve to live with that sort of uncertainty and fear? Do you honestly feel that you can trust him?
Everyone can change. But I would make it clear what needs to be done and have him be open to while he walked out to prevent him from using the coping strategy in the future. Also you need to be open to what he needs. Both of you have to work really hard. Focus on communication,that is almost always the biggest problem. Learning to talk openly, and learning to really listen and act on what you hear.
I cant trust him...he has proven he doesnt care
It just makes me so mad...my boys and I deserve better
You have your answer. If you can't trust him, the marriage is over. And it's very natural to be mad. For me, there was a cycle of anger, fear, loneliness, and numbness that repeated over and over. But it fades in time. And in time, you'll build a better life for yourself and your boys. You deserve that!
2 Hearts
Thank you so much for your support
Maybe if he changes enough for you to see it with out you taking him back. .. then you could concider it. Your boys don't deserve to have an unhealthy relationship as their example. So model the smart thing to do.
Exactly...they deserve so much better
1 Heart
Inmydreams: I'm glad you said the cycle of those emotions you mention will soon disappear.
Right now o cant even imagine it. I have this same emotions and it is making me feel so much anxiety and hopelessness