My husband has been gone for a week. He comes home last nigh

My husband has been gone for a week. He comes home last night and cries telling me he loves me, doesn’t want me to leave or a divorce. He calls me early in the day and says he wants to come home. 3 hours later I get a text that he’s going to the lake with friends. We had plans. What am I supposed to do or think about that?

Are you saying that you and he made plans to spend time together at a certain hour? And then 3 hours later, he texts you to say that during the hours that you and he had already agreed to be together, he is instead going to the lake (without you) with friends? And that this is only one day after returning home after having been gone a week, in tears and begging you to not divorce him? If I understood all that accurately, then what to do or think about that? Well, let's see - He doesn't keep his promises &/or He doesn't act consistently with what he says he wants, needs and feels &/or His emotions change drastically from one day to another &/or He doesn't understand the impact his emotions or words have on people and/or He doesn't understand the consequences of his behavior and/or He is insensitive to your feelings and/or He is emotionally clueless or untrustworthy or cruel....

Maybe he has a brain tumor, or maybe he is taking some strong prescription drug that makes him nuts or forgetful. If it's for any reason other than those 2 reasons, I think his behavior is pretty unforgivable. Do you feel like he manipulated you, or wrapped you around his little finger? Do you feel like he slapped you in the face? Do you feel angry? Hurt? Betrayed? Or what? Are you still in couples counseling? What are you feeling you need right now?

1 Heart

That’s a good question. Or rather a lot of good questions. We are still in counseling although I’m not sure why he goes. I feel abandoned and hurt. I need him to stop acting like a spoiled child and man up and get his butt home and fix the mess he made. Will he do that...clearly not

Don’t let him come back. He’s not genuinely remorseful.

4 Hearts

Maybe he needs your support financially and played the pity card on you.

This sounds all too familiar. I agree with devastatedinptbo, don’t let him come home. It doesn’t appear as if he is willing to put the same effort you are putting into the marriage.

Kick his a$$ out the door.

1 Heart

If it were me, at the next couples counseling session, I would tell the counselor what happened. Maybe he has a reasonable explanation. (Like, he was kidnapped and they forced him to text you that?)

Big surprise...he doesn’t want to go back to counseling.

1 Heart

@sharper1003 sounds like its time to go no contact

He’s not ready to be a committed partner. Period.

I am so sorry! I can only imagine how painful this must be to go through.

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