My husband is 35 years old and just made a career change last year to become a chef. Recently he started at a new job and now everything has become the job. It has lead to part of my depression which in turn has made things not right between us. He works constantly, everything is about work when he talks. I try to be nice and listen, but honestly I just don't care. He has been contimplating divorce because he works so much. He doesn't spend any time with his family or nephews anymore and actually got mad at his sister today because she wouldn't let her kids skip school to spend the day with him. He is always overtired which makes it impossible to talk about anything rationale with him and we get into stupid fights over things. I don't know how to talk to him anymore without either of us getting upset about things. Yesterday we had an arguement about how he let his alarm go off for 2 hours and I tried waking him up but instead went to sleep on the couch. I don't know what to do anymore. I love him and I want to make our marriage work, but his job is killing us.
I would suggest this to you...
get a small notebook, and write loving thoughts in it everyday, leave it where he can read it, let him know it's Ok to write in it as well thoughts about you...
Instead of having arguments, try changing the enviornment, be encouraging to him about his career, but at the sime time, just tell him you miss loving him, and have a big smile on your face....
When he gets to the point of constantly chatting about work,just say " hey babe, thats nice or To bad, I love you.. and then let him know your going to go do something fun, and invite him to join you, and leave, or just grab his hand, take him in the bedroom and Give him great sex....You don't have to sit there and listen...
The goal is to change his mentality about your relationship, Anytime you start feeling the environment is getting combative, just disarm it. Gentle words divert anger, Harsh words encourage wrath.