I have known my husband a very long time and we have been very good friends for just as long. I have always suspected that he is bisexual. Recently my suspicions have been confirmed. We really love each other and I'm sure this will work, but now I have even more questions regarding how to do that, and keep us both happy, when I, as well, am very bicurious. I could use a few brains to pick. I don't want to screw this up!
Mlobidz, thank you for being here and sharing with us. How are you doing and feeling about everything? I think that if you two can be open and honest, then that's the key.
Hi, Mlo! Thanks for dealing with this issue so openly.
I cannot advise you, but I can share some information.
Many, many straight women find M/M sex quite arousing. I think it's wonderful that your husband has shared this with you. You may wish to explore some M/M videos or literature as an enhancement to your sex life. Surely, your acceptance of his curiousity can only add to the spice without in any way endangering your partnership.
Do either of you have aby experience with this? I do agree with both of you. And, yes , since this has come to light I can see my husband with another guy and I do
find it arousing.
Well, there you go. Problem solved. Tell him that you are open to some experimentation and that you do find it arousing, and then let whatever happens, happen.
My biggest fear is that We open up and he leaves me for the other person. I was looking for others who have tried this and what the outcomes were.
Well, Mlo, that's the kind of risk you have to take if you want an honest relationship. And that kind of risk has nothing to do with sex. It's all about trust. None of us can tell you when your relationship is ready for that.
If you have a strong relationship and trust you can try experimenting sexually with couple swapping (same or different room) or threesomes. You can start slowly and easy into it. It can be fun and fulfill both of your desires. It can actually bring you two closer, a new experience with each other and can be fun. If you're worried about him falling for someone else, you can control the contact with others. Just a thought.
I was in a relationship for 15 years. During that 15 years we brought another person in on the relationship and had a triad for 5 years then when things were rough went back to just the 2 of us. Later we again brought a 3rd person in the relationship for close to a year.
If you set down rules and after EVERY encounter discuss the situation open and honestly it can work. There are some great books available although I cannot think of the names of any right now on open relationships and differently ways they can work.
There are also some 'swingers' web sites that give some good advise on how to have an open relationship and set rules in the relationship to make sure that you are both on the same page.
The reason that relationship ended was NOT another person but other issues. The reason my most recent relationship ended was due to another person and I thought we were monogamous....
In my opinion the biggest thing is talking to one another and figuring out what both of you want. If you have a strong relationship as Jassy said it can bring you closer.
If you want more info on my past experiences I am very open and willing to share either on here or privately if that would be more comfortable for you... Just message me or reply if you have questions that I may be able to answer..
Hope this helped...
Yes, you do run the risk of him leaving if you open the marriage and experiment with other people. But then, you are running that risk now if he is having contact with other people behind your back. It's like everything else in life Take it slow. Open up and talk about it in a friendly way, not confrontational. Slowly explore the desires and let them grow into reality slowly. It may open new worlds for the both of you. And if you do it in a way that you both nurture your love for each other, you may very well grow together stronger than ever thought possible.
My husband is bi and hooked up with couples he wont remain faithful and i dont want him sleeping with other people. I have less of a problem with him being bi than with him not being able to remain faithful. I wish you luck because is a slippery slope. We are filing for divorce and we have an infant. Be sure you know what youre willing to lose if need be. Best of luck. I really hope it works out for you
My husband of 17 years just came out and told me he was bisexual. I too feel confused. I had caught him on web cams with other men and told him that was too far and it really hurts me when he does it. He asked if he could get bi porn videos and I could watch them too. I agreed to that. I don't know how I would feel if he came to me and said he wanted to have sex with another man. I would feel like it's cheating, I want to be open minded about this but I also don't want to loose him to another person. But it I clamp down on him and refuse to let him express this side of him I could lose him. so I feel your pain.
One thing I have noticed about swingers is that there is always one of the couple who wants to bring another person into the picture while the other goes along with it for reasons other than that they found it a huge turn on as well.Then it soon becomes a divorce.I feel that what ever a couple do together as a unit of one,as long as it doesn't involve sources outside of the relationship is between them and private.But I have never seen a healthy, growing and happy relationship where a couple involve another person into their sex life.And this is not even talking about the health risks now days,this isn't the seventies when you could cure everything that was out there with a shot.I would ask myself,What's in it for me?Just because someone is a bi sexual does not mean that they just have to hook up and "Express that side of themselves",or explode.There are other issues in the relationship at work here I feel,like trust,honesty and respect for you as a person as well as his self as a being with self worth and esteem. Just my twodogs worth,good luck and fortune to all...
You said he was your best friend. If you can openly and honestly discuss it and share the experiences together he will still be your best friend. If its just sexual exploration and not full blown relationships why would he leave. You offer everything and then some. Start small and work your way into more finding both your comfort levels as you go. If you look at it as just different kinds of 'toys' to enhance your own sex lives it can be great. Good luck.
And that, my friends,is why I am having an increasingly difficult time reading these posts.