My husband of two years emailed me on Father's Day and asked me for a divorce in the email and also told me that I would here from either him or his divorce lawyer and I should just sign the divorce papers so we can go our separate ways. I'm in shock because the only reason that he's even in America is because he married me. I'm an American born citizen. I was the one that spent a year patiently waiting for all the paperwork to be looked over by USCIS. I sponsored him and he came to America in February of 2018. He seemed nice like he was after our wedding but slowly he started changing. He wanted my parents to buy him a car, give him a credit card, and give him and his family the rights to the property in India that my parents have. He was so disrespectful to them and he would yell at them on the phone and he would call my parents by their names instead of calling them by the respectful terms for mother-in-law and father-in-law. I was a perfect wife and always respected my in-law's and my husband. On my last visit to India which was also my first visit to India after our wedding in 2016, he ended up kicking me and he denied that he kicked me but he ended up taking me to my cousins house and showing them how he kicked me. I always tried to make my marriage work and went to two different marriage therapists. He never tried to work our marriage out. He was influenced by his friends because it seems that one of his friends divorced his wife just now and he keeps saying that I was easily influenced by others. I finally got the papers last Thursday when I checked the mail last Thursday afternoon. Boy was I shocked by what I read. He said that we mutually decided to separate on January 30; he seems to have decided already on January 30, 2019 that we were separating but he never told me that and he acted like we were going to be happy together and visit each other and I was shocked that he would put my car into the paperwork because he had no rights to the car at all. He just drove it maybe a couple times without me. I’m so hurt by everything because I still have all the engagement and wedding photo albums at my house. I still have the engagement ring and wedding band. I took them off the day I got the email because it just hurt me wearing the rings and the necklace and toe rings that he gave me the day we were married which happened to be my birthday. My birthday and wedding day is Christmas Eve. For 28 years it was my birthday and then on my 29th birthday it was my wedding day. I really don’t know how I’m going to survive my birthday this year. Another thing that happened is on June 29, my mom’s best friend who is my second mom passed away suddenly and we’re grieving her loss but a lot of my friends in the community don’t know that I’m also grieving the loss of my marriage.
@SouthernDesiGal PLEASE, please get your own lawyer and DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING until your lawyer looks over the paperwork. You STBX is trying to take advantage of you, and your car should NOT be part of the divorce property. Please, I urge you to get your own attorney and do not sign anything until your attorney has looked over all the paperwork.
Truthfully, it sounds like he used you to stay in the US. It sounds like he was just waiting for the day when he could legally get divorced but not have to leave the country.
I'm so sorry you're in this situation and I'm sorry you're hurting. Divorce is so painful, I wish I could say something to help you with your pain. I can tell you that the pain does eventually subside and you will feel good again. It just takes a little time.
Again, I can't say this enough, please get your own divorce attorney. Please find one soon and do not sign anything until your own lawyer looks over it.
Thanks for the reply my dear. I agree that he’s using me. He thinks I don’t have my own lawyer but he’s wrong. He might be the first one to send papers but my lawyer is working on sending papers as well. I haven’t signed anything. As soon as I received the papers I called my lawyer and they told me to scan them and email them to my lawyer’s email.
@SouthernDesiGal I’m so glad you’re using your own lawyer and you’ll be protected. I’m truly sorry this happened to you. You sound like such a sweet, wonderful person and you deserve better than to be used. Don’t let this marriage sour you to all marriages, you can find someone who will love you like you deserve to be loved.
Thanks for this message. I’m not going to let this marriage sour myself to all marriages. I have always dreamed of having someone love me like I deserve to be loved. We’re going to go see my lawyer tomorrow and look through the paperwork that my lawyer has been working on to send my husband. It’s been hard because we had the memorial service on July 13 for my second mom who passed away June 29 and so many people who know me asked me about my husband and how he was and why he didn’t come for the funeral or the memorial. I blanked out and couldn’t really think. I ended up telling some of our family friends that he wanted a divorce and they were all sad. My mom unfortunately doesn’t know that I told some of her close friends. I did tell one of them because her son had also gone through a divorce a couple years ago and I just wanted to know how he got through all of that. Sorry I haven’t been online lately I have been very busy with work. I’m so thankful for my wonderful work family because they are supporting me 100% and according to my boss we should kick my stbx out of our country. One thing that I am worried about is how i’m going to get through my birthday this year because as I wrote in my story my 29th birthday was also my wedding day.
This sounds awful. I'm sorry you are going through this. I wish we could kick people who do things like this. (But then we would be just like them right?) It's good that you have an attorney. That should protect you. Just be crystal clear with your attorney exactly what you want. The whole thing with attorneys in divorce court just becomes a game and these attorneys will stretch this out as long as they can because they love money. They don't care one bit about you.
The divorce was finaized in 2020 during the pandemic. I’m free of him. How has life been treating you?