ok so were do i start. im new at this but i really need some1 to talk to lass night i was attacked behind my house walking i got away but i keep having flash backs and i cant get his voice out of my head. the cops have not found him. and i cant stop shaking. the man cut me 2 times on my chest but i got away be4 he could rape me. on top of all that my boyfriend had a brakedown and was in the hospital. when he got out he said he needed to take a brake to figer him self out. i feel all alone every1 keeps saying they r here for me but all i really want is for him to come back home and hold me and never let go. i feel like im haveing a brake down myself but i need to try and hold it together for every1 else. if any1 can help me figer out ways to just for get lass night im open to anything.
It's ironic that sometimes when you really need people the most is when they bail on you. Saying "I can't handle this right now." You really need some help. I'm sorry for what happened to you. Being a man and a wrestler I take for granted that I can feel safe in most situations. I hope you seek some help and get the support you deserve. You're worth it. :)
thank he said he is comeing back that he just needs time
It's true, people leave you at the wrong times. He probably does need time for himself, and we all deserve that, but you are certainly not to be ignored. I do not know of any brilliant solutions for how to feel better in this situation. I just want to say that people care for you here, myself included. No one should feel that there is no one to turn to in a time of need. I am all too aware of "holding it together" for everyone else. It can really hurt after a while. Maybe you could start with a good cry. I tend to avoid crying, and instead share everything I feel- with myself- in a journal. Still, kind of lame ideas, since such things (including traumatic flashbacks) take time and talking through them to get over. Just know that you do deserve better, and that there is nothing you could have done differently to change what has happened. Best of luck in the future.
Mc120877, Please seek out some form of counseling/help if affordable, this is a horrible violent crime that you survived & will take as long as it takes to ever be capable of feeling somewhat safe/secure again. Please keep talking w/us if & when you feel like it.
All my strengths.
April
thank u for the suport i am looking into talking to some1 about it just b/c i dont feel safe anywere i go even at work and i really dont want to go any were with out being with some1 i know even just going into a store is hard to do with or with out some1 by me. part of me keeps saying what if i had done this or that it would have never happend and thank u again to every1
Your feelings are justified, a crime was commited against you & your feeling the ramifications of it, be easy on yourself, hope you find someone soon to help guide you through.
Take care honey.
April
im still trying to fine something but with lil luck just wish ppl around me really knew how i felt. also my man stayed lass night with me i felt a lil safe got some sleep if that is what u want to call it. but to day he told me that he is making his ex wife think that they r going to get back together so it is easer to get joint custady of his lil girl, but i dont know what to think is he just playing with my head or is he telling me the truth. any advice on that.
thanks
Good lord, that too on top of what you've been through CRAP. I dont live with you & know what type of person HE is or why hes divorced in the first place that in itself IS usually a RED FLAG of some sort unless they have learned something or was just circumstances/issues in the marriage. Most therpists would say that when someone is divorced & has children or a child its wise to not get married again til the children are grown up because the children will feel left out/adandoned as all attention goes to the NEW RELATIONSHIP & that the person that marries the divorced person IS always LAST on the totem pole, meaning he will always be active in the ex & childrens life. If your gut instinct is telling you something then LISTEN & focus on YOU not whatever hes saying or doing & please use condoms if hes trying to keep the candle lite at both ends as thats what it sounds like hummmmmm.
Do you have anyone else to lean on while you go through this very emotionally exhausting time????
not really my famy is here but even with then i dont feel like i can talk to them about everything going on i dont want then to hate him if and when we get back together. and none of them have ben through what im going through. and right now idk what my gut is telling me cuz of everything that has happend u know its just in a big *** not
Thats your decision & when you feel a little stronger which IS a process would be better to focus on YOU & not concern yourself w/dealing others judgement about him, I use to do that & had to learn to see it in myself & not protect that person any longer but protect & support myself. I'm not saying your situation is like mine but you really need someone to lean on & be there for you while you wade through what has happened.
Big HUG
April
so tuseday night i finaly had a brake down, and just cryed till i blacked out. but weday when i got up i decided that i am not going to let this or anything else change me im going to push through no matter how much i want to scream no matter how heard my heart bets i will do this on my own and everythink with him i will sit back and see were it gos but in the end if he dose not want me i will be ok i will be strong i will push through everything in my way till i get what i want no matter what it takes no matter what i hafe to do to stay strong and in the end of it all to not lose who i am. so like i told ppl to day im bringing back the old me the care free me dont care what ppl think any more. the outgoin me. and like i said be4 i will push through and move on pass the bs and if ppl dont like i will tell them theres the door. they can take me or leave me its up to them
I agree & thats another way to do.
Talk anytime you want/feel like it.
Take care
April
i will thank u all so much
so the pass 2 days have ben really grate i miss the old me so much. and everything with him i told him the othernight that i was not playing games and eather he wants me and only me cuz im done with the games lol loveing life still a lil jumpy but im not going to let him have that power im takeing it all bake
Excellant choice, glad to hear it. Keep going you've just begun the journey.
ya i know i am and as long as i stay tru to my self i can do anything i want, went out lass night to a club and had a good time just was watching every1 around me so i would know were they were at all tims other then that had a blast dam my life is geting better day by day and im going to beat this
I like it & do enjoy yourself, watch your drinks though wouldnt want any surprises.
f that what about u and your needs