My mother died in a house fire Dec.19,2017. I lived right beside her and my sister, brother & I took turns staying with her at night. It was my night and she had just called my an hour before to ask a question. I heard fire trucks stopping in front of my house and looked out to see her house on fire. I still blame myself for not being there when she needed me. She died of smoke inhulation in her bedroom. Just when I think things are calming down I get so depressed I let her down.
These types of circumstances are very hard to understand. No matter what others say, we still feel responsible in some way. Try to understand that this will take time and many things may trigger the guilt feelings. One thing that can help in this case is to journal. In the journal you can be honest and feel all that you are feeling without the worry of someone trying to make it all ok. You may also want to write to her and tell her how you feel. If you are a spiritual person it may comfort your spirit and hers.
@wsbyrne I never thought about writing to her. Thank you for the suggestion
I'm so sorry for your loss, friend. My heart goes out to you. Losing a special person is very hard, and the impact of such a loss is deep. The sorrow can affect in many ways. Please don’t be hard on yourself. It’s not your fault. I'd suggest that you talk to a grief counselor. Do you have a support group nearby? I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will surround you with His comfort and provide the help you need at this time. You can always come here to share and you don't need to carry your burdens alone. Stay strong. Hugs!
@littlestarsmum Thank you for your comforting words.
It's hard enough to lose a parent but in a fire makes it so more traumatic. I'm sure it's hard but you didn't let your mom down because you didn't know about the fire until it was too late. I hope you're able to take comfort in the promise Almighty God makes to us about raising our dead loved ones up from death back to life here on earth with us. Please read Psalm 37:22, 29 to see the promise for yourself. I'm here for you. : )
@Anella Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. It is just so hard to look to where the house stood and not think about it constantly> I know she is in a much better place but I miss her so much.
I can't imagine how you must feel. God has His own timing and reasons for things like this that we may never understand. I am so sorry you are feeling sad and having to see the house daily. Maybe you could try and make yourself think about the happy, loving things about your mom and cherishing them when you look at the house. My mom died in my home of cancer and after she died I sat in that room at night thinking about her. Your pain is real and your grief is strong but it will subside in time. Hang in there!
I am so sorry for your loss, I don't think you should blame yourself. I agree with the writing to her to release that guilt you are feeling.