My mother just told me "If you want, go and carry the knife

My mother just told me "If you want, go and carry the knife and do it. If you feel it will help your life, (kill yourself)" because I told her that I badly needed somebody to talk to, and that I had no one else to turn to. I described a day that I took a knife from the kitchen with the intention of cutting my veins open and allowing myself to bleed out, but that I did not have the nerves to do it and ended up breaking the knife by stabbing a bible in anger and frustration. She told me that I should go away, she told me sarcastically that I wanted to kill myself even while I had food and shelter. I told her it was not about material goods, and she did not care. I swear I mean it when I say if there were no laws on earth, I feel like I might do something to my mother. SHE IS SO HEARTLESS.

She sees suicide as a threat. Like I was threatening her with suicide. Even since I was 12 years old she has been offhandedly been asking me to kill myself. My father told me that If I killed myself everyone in the family would cry for a month then forget me. I do not have the strenghth to type any more. I'm weakened by unhappiness. I dont think i will live to see the end of this year with how i am feeling i am TIRED. I AM TIRED

What a heartless lady . If you ever need to talk to me then just know I'm always here for you. I promise you that . I can just listen or I can't help give you support and or advice like if I was giving it to myaelf. Don't forget . Talk time if you need to.

1 Heart