My mother told me when I was 16 that I was useless, a waste of life, and would never amount to anything. With the recent developments in my wife of 20 years deciding to leave me stating she never loved me and wants to move on, I tend to believe my mother was right. The longer I think about this, the more it seems right to remove myself from the world. I love my wife so much, I can't live without her. My time here is now much shorter than before. I am not sure I can go on much longer.
I am so sorry for the pain you're in right now. I can't imagine how hard it would be to hear the 2 woman closest to you say such horrible things. But please know it's not true. You are not useless-you have so much to offer the world still and it has so much to offer you. I'm sorry about your wife, but please know that I am certain she didn't mean those words. I know you must be in a dark place right now- anyone would be in your position- but trust me. She would have never married you if she didn't love you. People say things they don't mean, but it doesn't define you. I know it can be hard, but you can rebuild this life. You deserve to. You deserve to find your happiness, even if it is not with those women. Please give it another chance and hang in there. We're here for you.
1 Heart
@running_girl_04 I wish I could feel the way you say I should, but I feel so torn up, it just feels like the end is near.
Let them go. This is all for a reason...go make you stronger... To be able to hear the truth instead of lies- those are untruths- the truth is inside you.. Not in other people but in you! You have children? Show them how you should love yourself... You can do it. Let those go who don't appreciate you...
2 Hearts
@Falone I know others have done this, I don’t know how they did. Cause I don’t know how I’m supposed to.
Being married for 27 years I am pretty sure your wife didnt mean what she said. Sometimes things are said out of hurt and maybe also trying to convince oneself that there is no love. But Indont believe we can be with someone for that long and never have loved them. More importantly is to love yourself. Life can be hard sometimes but surround yourself with people that appreciate you.
2 Hearts
@eosoca6 There are no people. I devoted my entire 20 years to my wife and family. I am totally alone.
@r- have u tried 2 figure out-maybe why u didn't want 2 socialize ?
@Klucky1
When I was young, we moved more than a dozen times and to several states and different towns, I made friends, then lost friends, so many times, I eventually gave up trying to be with people because I was afraid to lose people again. That mentality has stuck with me for nearly 30 years. I know people can change, but understanding how to effectively communicate on a friendship level is something that is a learned behavior over time. I have not done this well and people reject me now when I try because I don’t talk like they do or they already have their own established crowd and are not interested in bringing me into their fold.
being told that from your mom did not give u a boost of confidence, and now with the wife, no wonder you didnt socialize outside of home.. comfort zone was your wife and home, that was enough. now that is shattered!!!.. and all you can hear over and over in your head is the negative... you have to see the positive and present those good points to people outside of your comfort zone. iam sure u have many good qaulities! give your self credit, no one sticks around that long with out you having some good attributes, she just had to say a mean thing to you to make herself not feel so bad about leaving you, making it seem like it was your problem and not hers!!!!!! just a thought or two!
@jodimoms
I sure do hope you are right, because I feel like an utter failure in everything I try and do. Every time I have gotten even slightly close to someone, let alone as close as I am to my wife, they all leave me.
oh i feel for u my heart breaks for u too! iam so lonely, i have 2 so called friends, and iam 52 yrs old...they call me any time of the day or nite and iam always there for them. i suffer from bi/polar,severe, insomnia, have been hospitalised numerous times. never have they asked or enquired about my well being or illness.. i dont complain or whine, maybe just casually mention iam not sleeping, and silence..... so i dont understand, i just cant do that to a friend iam always enquiring about there welfare and there families, and there health.. , so dear its just not you, you are perfectly decent of a human being, i just think some people have a knack for picking up on us kinda people,,, meaning maybe we act like it doesnt bother us to get to close or maybe we always switch the conversation over to something else if it gets to uncomfortably close to them getting close to us...does that make sense? its not exactly how i wanted to say it.. i wont allow people to get to close i noticed to save myself from being hurt in the long run...i figure i will save my self the heart ache, so i notice i will turn the conversation to them, and off me,,, keep them at arms length.... sorry.. hope it makes some sense...good luck...take care....jodi
I'm sorry to hear all this is happening. My biological Father, when I was 12, said that I would end up jail, have some girl pregnant before I was 18 and all other kind of bad things, that I'd never end up doing anything with my life and all because my sister was out being rebellous and telling lies and he was defending her, throwing me under the bus when I had never done anything to deserve such talk. I believe, in my head and my heart, that you're wife doesnt mean the things she is saying, I believe, like when a teenager is struggling for independence from their parents and start sayint hurtful and empty things to them, she is saying them simply because she wants to get out of the marraige and perhaps feels suffocated, though maybe unjustifiably. Your worth as a person is not based on another opinion or feelings for you. This is something I also contended with for years and years and I created an existence around myself that was rather empty to me in meaning because I based my value, on all aspects (self worth, art, musical, etc) on what others opinions were. I understand, you must be very burdened in heart, and thus in mind, a battle is inevitably raging but make your best efforts to keep your mind ot of these thoughts. They are posoin and will blind side you, creating false thoughts which will lead to words and actions you don't intend. This is essentially what your wife is doing, be above her spiteful ways, they are false and for the comfort of her own fragile ego. Best of luck.
1 Heart
@GabrielB
I find your analogy of a teenager to my wife very enlightening, I had never approached this from this angle, and it seems to hold a lot of plausibility. Even with this in mind however, the only hurting this will subside would be the mean and hurtful things she has said. I still love my wife with all my heart and don’t want to see her go and that hurt is still there. I do thank you tremendously for the alternative aspect to the pain she’s currently inflicting upon me.