My partner of 20 years seems to be going through a midelife

My partner of 20 years seems to be going through a midelife crisis. It took me by surprise, he moved moswt of his stuff out and got a place of his own. i fel lost and lonely...and I can't ever seem to say the right thing..

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Hey, it's okay. There are a lot of lonely people on here and we can all be lonely together :) You can't change other people, you can only do your best. People change themselves over time sometimes, and there's not always something you can do about that. What you can control is how you take care of yourself. You deserve to be happy! Focus on that! Try to do something every day that makes you smile, be kind to yourself. Have you talked to him about how his choices are impacting you? Because if he's a good partner and he really cares about you, he will consider your feelings and want to try to help you. If he cares and he knows his actions are hurting you, he will want to work towards making things better. If not... you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be with somebody who treasures you and will try their hardest to make you happy and nothing less!

1 Heart

Thanks "gettingoverit" that's what Iml trying to do..but weeiends are especailly difficult . as for talking to him...he does not seem to want to talk. He just wants to be on his own.. i get the feeling he wants to end it but does not know how too.

I'm sitting here lonely too. Weekends are tough. And my son had to spend the night at his grandparents since I work tomorrow. I think the not talking part is the hardest. How do you go from talking to someone everyday, to not talking at all? What are you doing to keep yourself occupied?

Wow you are so right about that @7yearitch I actually got a dog ! he's heaven sent. So sweet... he's an old fella I got at the local rescue. He cuddles with me at night and keeps me busy walking etc,..

I rent a room and kindof hard not to have a dog. Most of the time okay, a lot of my time, I just retreat into my room. Like today, I didn't want to be bothered but actually I did.

@Stillhurting74 how’s your roommate?

Ummm must be hard to spend all day alone @Stillhurting74 no?

Aww sound like a good idea! It's nice to have something to come home to.

yes! and the dog's ALWAYS happy to see me...

Lol

Heh. Not the talkative type. Besides, don't feel confident in talking about my problems to him

I've been doing nothing lately too.. It's depressing. I think I layer on the couch from 8 am to 6 pm yesterday.. I keep thinking of the things I used to enjoy?

What do you like to do when you're not retreating?

@7yearitch go to the movies, take walks

@Stillhurting74. I know it's hard to get motivated or into anything but it does feel better quickly once u r out and about. It just changes the pace for a few minutes or hours

Someone bought me a fitbit cause I've been being lazy, now I have to get out and walk so I don't look lazy to my friends and family that have a fitbit. Lol. But now there snow!!!

Whats the last movie you saw

Went with someone and saw the visit.

Scary!

@7yearitch It was. Funny in some parts but scary.

Thought about it, didn't care for the first couple. Really can't wait for the next star wars to come

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