My sister.....how can I stop letting this effect me

Relationships Family Relationships
1

Hi Everyone,

Im 27 and my sister is 25. She has always been the bad girl type, getting in trouble in school, jumping from one job to the next, dating guys that do drugs etc etc. Well now she is 25 and 5 months into a new relationship with a man who is dx with Bi Polar and PTSD. He is not on medication or going to therapy. He is completely untreated. The first four months of the relationship they broke up several times. He would act crazy, threathen to crash the car, all kinds of craziness. In the past month he is now on his best behavior. He gave her a promise ring, put a down payment on an engagement ring and rented a house for him and her to move into. I see this ending very badly. I dont wanted her to live with him and I definately dont want her to marry him. Let me add that I dont have anything against people with mental illnesses. I actually work in the field. I'm a social worker and I know how important it is for a person with bi polar to have proper treatment and medication monitoring by a Psychiatrist.

It's really bothering me that my sister is involved in this situation. It's going to be very hard for me to be happy for her when she gets engaged to this man. Not to menttion it's not healthy for them to bring children into this world when the father is so unstable.(they arent pregnant yet, that I know of) Any advice on how to not let this affect me. I'm so concerned.

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you can seek therapy or some similar type of local support group/situation. she's an adult and gets to make her own mistakes. you could attend a codependents anon group and invite her to join you if she seems open to it.

if you feel she is in physical danger you can direct her to women's crisis/abuse support, but she has to want your input.

watching our loved ones make tragic mistakes is terribly painful but for the most part,unavoidable.

i had a friend in a terribly abusive relationship and when that one ended, she found another. i researched how to support her and there wasn't much i could do but be loving. eventually i couldn't be involved with her anymore. when it's a close friend/family member, it's all that more difficult.