MY story

I met Luis when I was 17. He was tall, he had tattoos, he was sweet, and funny, and basically everything that I thought I wanted. Lets face it, nobody will ever know what they truly want. Anyways, we were together. And it didn't take very long for him to become everything to me. I would get home from school and go straight to him. I would even sneak out of my bedroom window to see him. We had one mutual friend that introduced us but after we started dating he started hanging out with me and a few of my what i thought were best friends. We would go to my friends house and hang out with her parents. Her parents liked Luis so much that he eventually was allowed to spend the night with me when I spent the night there. needless to say, we were basically inseperable. Things changed when all of a sudden he started getting phone calls from his ex girlfriend who lived about 4 hours north of us (where he moved from). I wasn't stressing about it because i figured that what we had was good enough for him and he wouldn't be stupid and go back. but he started acting really weird. He got mad at me for looking my friend (who was a boy) in the eyes while we were having a conversation. he got mad at me because i gave my sisters boyfriend (who was like a brother) a hug after he got out of jail. I even got in trouble for sitting next to my friend who's a girl. then all of a sudden he got this new phone, it was a Iphone, and he didnt have a job. but stupid me, i didnt say anything about it. but things started to get really serious. he asked me to move in with him when i turned 18 in 5 months. he was saving up to by a ring and everything. my dad, my brother, my sister and i moved out of the apartment complex that our group of people lived in. the weekend we moved i went to get my friend so we could go to the beach. my friend asked her mom if they were going to tell me. i said tell me what.... then my friends mom said that Luis has been having sex with this girl who lived down the street from my old apartment. this girl was known, and proud to be known as the nieghborhood slut. so i was pretty much disgusted. when i asked him about it he told me it was a lie. i didnt believe him and we got in to a huge fight. he said he was going to go see his mom to cool off and he would talk to me the monday he got back. that night i got a text message from him saying "hey what are you doing" so i said "trying to go to sleep. did you make it to orlando okay? i miss you already" he said "yea, i'm chillin' wit my baby" i said "ur dog?" cuz he always said the dog that he had to leave at his moms house was his baby. he said "no my wife" i didnt respond at all because i was 17, too young to try for a relationship to work. but i kept getting text messages from him saying how worthless i was and how he never loved me much less even like me. a few days go by and i miss my period. so i take a few at home pregnancy tests 4 out of 5 said i was pregnant. i went to the doctors and i was 6 weeks pregnant. i called and left luis a message and said "i dont care whats going on with you right now but i need you to come home because i really need you now. i'm pregnant." his name came up on my phone so i answered. it was woman, with a very manly voice. to make this long story a little shorter, luis had left me for his ex girlfriend who was born a man but had surgery to be a woman. i was 17 years old, junior in high school, no mother myself, pregnant with a guys baby who left me for a transsexual. luis had convinced the world that i was lying about being pregnant. his "girl" convinced the world that it was my dads baby. my dad raised me alone for 17 years. he worked he butt off for his kids. eventually i lost my "best friends" and was pregnant and alone. my dad didnt take it very well and we deicided that an abortion would be the best thing. i didnt have a job, i was still in school, my dad didnt have a job, luis was long gone. i just wanted somebody to love me for me. and i thought i had that. i gave him all of my time, and my energy, and mostly my heart. and he showed me what it was worth. so i dont see me being worth anything more to anybody else. i dont understand how somebody could do that to a 17 year old kid. its been 2 years and i still am crying over it. i dont know how to let people in to help me. so i'm hoping this will....thanks for reading.

jezz, well i already posted on the dear luis and saw this on the side and figured id read it and get a better story on what happend. im sorry that happend, thats so much for anyone, let alone bein 17 in high school, im 16 so im basiclly there right now. well im here to tell you that not everyone is like that.. i know that im young but i believe that. its hard to trust people becuz there are the weird few who just like to play games, but there are real people out there..and you will find someone who will love you for you, and know what they have and will be lucky. someday, ya just gotta wake up every morning determined to move on

Hey moon. Thanks for writing that. I want to move on but for some reason 2 years later I still can’t tell myself its really over. I don’t know how to be determined to let go of something that meant so much to me.

yea, well its not lik you gotta move on this moment, itl take time..n you need to do it one step at a time

Something similar happened to me....a german exchange student came to the US (where i live) and i was only 15..so i stupidly become fully attached to him without thinking of the future. he convinced me to cheat on my current boyfriend and have (unprotected) sex with him even though i didn't want to. he convinced me by always telling me about his ex girlfriend and how awesome she was... but then of course after 6 months he had to go back home to Germany, and i was left all alone.. All of my friends stopped talking to me because i was too obsessed with the guy and then he was just gone.. so obviously my situation isn't nearly as extreme or upsetting as yours but i just want to let you know you're not alone.
you're so brave for getting the abortion that takes so much strength and i envy that.
stay strong<3

Thank you a lot for sharing that with me. Cuz it helps a lot to kno I'm not alone. Its been almost 2 years and I still feels sooo empty. He lied to all of my friends£ and had sex with my moms friend who wasn't even cute. If he was going to cheat at Least cheat on me with somebody cuter than me. Ya jknow? And I appriciate you commenting about me being strong because I really don't feel strong anymore.

as much as you think its not, its a beautiful story, more of the fact that you are so beautiful to share it with us. i cannot give you words of wisdom to move on, but i can say it will eventually get easier. he obviously was a huge part of your life and the fact that he did that to you is unquestionable. but know that it has made you a strong person and who you are today and that it may seem like you feel weak now but know that you are strong. i wish you the best! keep us informed.

Sashie<3

this is kina random, but i think cheating is horrible, and it just makes you feel more like crap when their ugly.it just makes you more pissed off:p me n my friend were tlkn bout that yesterday actually. but anyways im sorry about that again,and it may suck,but its what makes you you... so dont wish to change it, it may have been horrible. but thats just new expirence and makes you stronger. i know i might not make a whole lot of scesnce,but hope all gets better
lots of love

I'm so sorry you had to go through all that! Everyone is right- you are a VERY strong person!!!

I know how hard it can be to get over someone that you gave your heart to. I started dating my first real boyfriend when I was 19 and a freshman in college. I quickly started spending every free second I had with him and when that wasn't enough I would skip class just to be close to him. I thought we were perfect for each other and that we would be together for ever.

After 1 year and 9 months we broke up. I was devastated and couldn't move on. I was determined to get him back. I am now almost 26 years old and still cannot get over him. Over the last 4 years I have had every sort of relationship with him (I don't think any of them were really healthy for either of us) and even now we are a weird sort of best friend.

I guess what I'm trying to say is you are not alone. I understand your pain and confusion and know it is hard to figure out how to give the love you had dedicated to Luis to someone else. I'm still trying to figure out how to do that myself. If you know that all he does is treat you poorly and cause you pain, that will never change. You have to decide for yourself what you want to do, but I know you are a strong and beautiful person. You will be able to move on when you can see past the good times the two of you shared and see the bad times for what they really were. You deserve so much better!

*hugs*

im sorry that you had to go through such an awful experience...but to go through such a traumatic event like that at such a young age,you are a credit to your family and yourself,and are obviously a very stong person even if you dont feel so now...please dont give up on people,and dont put yourself down like that you have more to offer then most for what you have been through and the type of loyal loving person you are...

best wishes
dell

I had a very similar experience...twice. I was 19. I fell in love with this guy I was dating for 9 months in college. One day he decided that he didn't want to be with me. He said some really cruel things to me like saying i was ugly, that being with me was like dating his mother, he couldn't imagine having to wake up to my face every morning etc. Like an idiot I thought that if I continued to stick around and sleep with him he would realize that he really did love me. Long story short I got pregnant and he still didn't want to be with me. I was also with little money, in the beginning of college, and it was just me and my grandmother. So I had a medical abortion. He was nice enough to go with me and let me stay at his house so my grandmother wouldn't find out but I was unable to do a lot and I was really sick and he refused to help me, letting me starve, leaving me alone in the room screaming and crying for days. Finally he got fed up and had his older brother throw me out into the rain, blood soaked, vomiting, and crying. It took me two years to get past the shock and pain. The thing that pushed me over the edge was later after I had transferred to a new college and tried to move on, he slept with my best friend who had disappeared on me months prior to that. I didn't know why until one day I looked on her facebook page and saw she was pregnant with his child. When I confronted her she blamed me and said he wanted her all along. A few months later after that, it turns out it wasn't his child. He was pissed. But I made it through. I have no idea how...but I pushed through. I'm now with a man who loves me and a I teach preschool. It's still hard some days but I keep telling myself that God makes no mistakes and the world is waiting. I have a purpose and you do too.