My Turn?

I know that I'm only 22 years old and that I have my whole life ahead of me BUT I'd like someone to share that life with. I'm tired of being single and it makes even harder being in college and seeing all my friends getting engaged, or married, and having babies and bein happy. I am so happy for all my friends but when is it my turn? I've joined some dating websites and thats ends in disaster. I never meet anyone because people are so shallow, just because I'm not a size 2! I always used to say that it didn't bother me, but it really does. In all reality it does. My friends and I were all virgins when we came to college and we made a packed that we'd become nuns if we didn't have BF in college (because we felt like all the boys at our school were stupid and shallow) but then one gets married and is having a baby and the other just moves on. So much for that I guess, right? There is a plan for my life and I make myself available but all I get are guys who find out that I'm a virgin so they inturn just want to be my 'first'. I hate it! Why can't I find a great guy that supports what I want and doesn't just want to be explore his sexual fantasies?? How long do I have to wait for my life to take off?

Sounds as though your heart is in the right place. I feel for what you are sharing. I am sure most of us have felt this way, even when others thought we were "too young" to understand. I hate to be a **** for saying so, but as much as lonely hurts (and I know this first hand) waiting for something real beats endless nights of heartache and pain, the pain that comes with being with someone who was not made for you.

To coin a cliche phrase, you will find love when you least expect it. This means someone who loves you EXACTLY as you are. Sometimes seems like he is not out there, but he is. Absolutely FILL your days with things that make you happy, work towards your future, and let it fall into place. It is not advice that you may want, but I would not have bothered to share it, if I had not lived it.

Hang in there... we all care here. Whenever you need to vent, go ahead!

God bless!

Hi Kris23Michelle, thank you so much for sharing your story. You have such wonderful intentions and although you do have your whole life ahead of you, it's so great to share that with someone. I know that you will have a fantastic love of your life come walking in when the time is right, they key is for you to continue being you and not to give in to any college temptations. You are an amazing woman with such strong values, which I respect so much. I can attest to the fact that it doesn't matter how old you are, there will always be men that only want one thing. One of my closest male friends told me that the only way to find out a guy's intentions is by waiting and waiting and waiting for intimacy. If he has the right intentions, then he will not be bothered by waiting, because he loves you as a person.

Focus on friendship first with men and go from there. If you meet a guy that you have an interest in, take your time in getting to know him. Even at my age, I get super shy around a guy that I like, but if I psychologically look at him as a friend, that shyness goes away.

I hope this helps a bit! I'm here to help you in any way that I can.

I can really identify with some of the things you are going through. The thing that stands out the most from what you said is, "I never meet anyone because people are so shallow, just because I'm not a size 2! I always used to say that it didn't bother me, but it really does. In all reality it does." If you said that you were comfortable with yourself in that way it one be one thing, however; you said it bothers you. The most important thing is to focus on yourself and making positive changes that will make you happy. I know from personal experience, EASIER SAID THAN DONE.

But what I also know from experience is that being unhappy with yourself will lead you to settle on men that aren't good for you. If I knew when I first started college(now graduated)what I know now, I would have saved myself from a world of hurt.

One thing that I realized that helped me was, human beings are human beings. It would be nice if they could look past the exterior and see the awesome person you are inside. But the exterior is what people see first and dictates a person's choice if they want to date you. Lousy, I know. It really helped me,personally, when I accepted this. I quit being angry at men for being human and not seeing the person I am inside.

My advice to you is if you're happy with yourself then eventually you will run across the right person who will accept you for you. If you aren't happy with yourself, then you need to sit down and make some goals that aren't too lofty and figure out ways to get there. Like you said, you're only 22. I know it's rough with that part of your life missing. But you're young and don't sell yourself short! Worry about you first and it will come.