My wife has basically told me that we're not going to have sex again.She said that I can either accept that or we can get divorced. A year ago we were trying to restore intimacy, & when things didn't work out the way we wanted, she no longer had the patience or trust to try anymore. I caused her a lot of pain over these 13 years, lack of sex & intimacy was partially due to my depression.
She tells me I can never be what she needs, sexually, because I'm not dominant enough. She doesn't believe me when I tell her I understand myself better & can give her what she needs, I've been going to therapy & really worked on my own thinking this past year.
It's like I had all the pieces of the puzzle in my hands, but I just watched as they slipped through my fingers.
I hate being roommates with my wife. I'm still in love with her & desire her so much. I'm absolutely crushed.
I am so sad, so depressed. I want to get my .45 & put it to my head.
1 800 273 8255. Suicide hotline if you're feeling hopeless. I'm here to talk. As painful as it sounds, there is life after a failed relationship. Something I have had to come to terms with as well.
For one, you're gonna hurt a lot of people. For another, if she withholds sex as a punishment, I would use the time you have to find another. Intimacy is important and frankly, she's not being very nice man
Thanks folks. I'm not interested in "finding another". Not emotionally prepared for that. I've busted my *** trying to take care of my disabled, bipolar wife for 13 years, while being seriously depressed the whole time. I can't give up that easily. Divorce is more likely to cause my suicide than staying together.
Wow...so you would rather stay in this God awful, emotionally torturing mess than venture out and prepare for the possibility of something new and beautiful? That is very sad. I hate this cycle of mental illness. It literally destroys lives. I pray you find the strength within yourself to know you deserve better and then make yourself ready to receive it. Good luck Hon.
@curiouscat - Thank you! It's very complicated, like I said, we've been together 13 years. Our history is a lot to discuss. If we get divorced, I'll be giving up everything I love (wife, house, and 6 dogs that mean the world to me, along with the tiny hope of making paintings once again) and only holding onto my career, which, while I'm doing well at work, my job is not fulfilling and I feel like I'm wasting my life there. I'd be forced to move in with my 78-year old dad for a while, spend several years trying to sell our house while figuring out where my wife will live. She won't let the dogs be away from her permanently, so I'll have to visit the dogs (they are my kids).
I've been her ROCK for 13 years, through her bipolar fits, manic times, depressive times, debt, death in the family, you name it. Granted, I've had online-only affairs (which is cheating for sure) and have hurt her badly, repeatedly.
I do deserve better, and so does my wife. I just wish she knew I could be better for her. I'm hoping time and patience pays off.