My wife's admitted to me about 3 affairs and we are working

My wife's admitted to me about 3 affairs and we are working towards fixing things, but I saw a text message one of her female friends sent asking and I quote " So you're gonna see ****, while you work things out." when I asked her about it she said that it wasn't like that her friend meant hangout not fool around with. She hung out with him 4 days before I saw the text, & since I found it she has cut off all communication with him and it just seems super suspicious. Everytime I ask about this 4th guy she flies off the handle saying she told me nothing happened and if I don't trust her maybe this won't work. How can I find out if my instincts are correct and she has cheated on me with this 4th guy without destroying our marriage?

She's not trustworthy Honey. Next time she mentions it might not work out remind her that YOU are still trying to decide if it will or won't. That ball is in your court Not hers. You can do better!

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Man, you would be a fool if you DID trust her right now. Bee is correct. This is your choice, not hers. Tell her if she isn't willing to be open then she's right, it won't work. Don't let her play little bull$hit, manipulative head games.

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Yeah, like ask yourself How do I feel about how she treats me instead of what did I do wrong to make her feel whatever....because she is NOT worth it.
Does any of this sound familiar?

https://youtu.be/xxnIFkiAfsI

It's from a guy's POV on narcissism

Here's another one that helped me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vD0cXZAFo_Q&feature=youtu.be I'm a girl so it's a little different the way they may manifest abuse but kind of the same too.

If they ring true, you will be in for massive shock but we'll be here for you.

Follow your instincts. Does it even matter if there is a fourth guy or not? Nope.

Mostly I just want to know so we can really start fixing things. I don't feel I'll ever be able to move on until I know everything.

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@Jdc212
It’s obvious. Follow your gut, it’s right. How can you fix this when it doesn’t appear that she wants to?

Sorry man. This is going to be a long road. She is likely still in the "fog" and not thinking straight. Personally any friend that encourages cheating is no friend at all. Her friends should not be texting her crap like that. What has this world come to. Have you guys gone to marriage counseling yet? That might help her see things from different angle. Good luck man.

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She not only has to stop. " hanging out with guys " - she needs to ditch this friend. Anyone that supports her cheating is an enemy of your relationship. How can she be truly remorseful when her support system tells her it's ok to "hangout while fixing things"

1 Heart

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