nah my mum an dad are a team, ive bin trying to make excuses for her but no more. She drops a pan, i didnt realise anything broke as im on my phone, and she says "Are you completely oblivious?", i said "oblivious to what, did you drop something?" she goes "Yes, and you didnt even check to see if i was hurt".. " didnt help me" blah blah "you obviously care about nobody but yourself" and "Your ungrateful and take everything that me and dad do for you for granted". Starts shouting at me tryna get my sister envolved, cant believe ive put up with this my whole life and accepted everything she's said.
Now im sure their both on the same page, and i can guiltlessley say f*ck them both
im going to stop posting about them again and again as its wasted energy
It's not wasted. You're venting. That's got to be helpful, isn't it? Your mother told you what you were thinking and what your motives were. She's telling you who you are. Have you ever tried to repeat back to her what she's said and explained to her what she's doing?
it happens so quick, and the feelings of guilt/shame rise up and i start to believe what she says, and if i even try to protest she'll start throwing in more like "you only care about yourself", at that point i know she's wrong, but i cant think of anything to say as whatever i say she just strikes down. So i end up just walking away
bit anxious, and sad. Idno its like no matter how much i tell myself its not my fault, and explain to myself that its how wrong my parents are, this heavy cloud still returns to my head and i just feel so trapped
@Ariel7890 i know the characteristics of codependancy, but it just doesnt suit either of them. My mum may slightly dependant on my dad, but she doesn’t show any of this towards us, quite the opposite actually. Ive looked at bipolar and that suits her, or borderline personality disorder, or even narcissistic personality disorder, but two narcissists would never marry, and so she cant be a narcissist.
i know and i dont wanna seem like im ignoring your advice either but trying to get through to them is like trying to penetrate a brick wall, but i will try