My dad has been an alcoholic my entire life. He was always very mean and cruel to me. He also did and said a ofof terrible things. It finaly came to blows last summer after27 years of it.He started leaving bullets in my moms cup holder and writing insane rambling notes,then he played more mind games with everyone and he takes a loaded gun into the woods and carries on for a while (he never intended on killing himself) then he happily talks to officers about himself and how bad everyone else is. Then later he proceeds to say "i"m sorry for touching you and your friends inappropiatly but I just wanted to show what's bad" He's was VERY drunk when saying this. I left and didn
t come back. My family has giving me a hard time and my brothers refusing to speakl to me for not speaking to him or allowing my chilldren to near him. My husbands says they are banned from ever seeing him again. but then it drags the innocent family members into it. ANd my kids miss out on their cousins. He's gone to rehab and has stopped drinking. It's been the longest attempt he has made. But I just dont know. Do I ever allow him to be around my kids and stay with myhusbands decision. or I do I give yet another chance but live with the fear that he'll go right back to it again. I have been alienated from most of family so far.
momma lana, the safety and well being of your children should be the number one concern. not your dad or your brothers or any family member.
is there a way of compromise as far as your family is concerned? visits to your home? with you and your husband present?
i can say based on what you have said i would'nt let me kids near your father at this point. thats just me.
is there a rush hun, can you not sit back and see how dad does? recovery takes time, one stint in a rehab and a handfull of days of sobriety wont' cut it.
your husband has every right to stand up for his children....would be nice all around if some compromise could be come to so your family could see your children in your home, only with the proper intent and attitude.
I work for a non-profit treatment facility for youth at risk. Consider meeting with your dad and kids in a safe place. CASA is a place where we allow our kids to meet with abusive parents in treatment. They are closely monitored and he will have to earn that trust back.
Your kids and your family must come first and it sounds like he is trying sobriety but be careful....baby steps my friend.