Need friends

i lost my best friend last year when she and my husband had an affair.I thought we were so close, closer than i am to my sisters. Now she hates me and I can see that she had been using me for a long time.I don't have anyone now, no one i can talk to, confide in, spend time with. I'm still with my husband, been married 20 years and have 3 children. He's very remorseful while she never told me the truth or apologised for wrecking my life.I feel so low, lost and lonely. I'm starting a new job next month and hope that will help, but I live in a very small town and people tend to be very clique-y and exclude you if you're not part of their 'gang'.
i'd love someone to talk to who knows how it feels, very sad at the minute and no energy for anything :-(

Hi mistyblue, I am sorry for what you have been through. I have been in your situation before. It occurred to me about 16 years ago. I am still with my husband. I have made other friends. I am definitely not friends with that person anymore. They moved away. Then my husband and I eventually moved to a different area. True friends do not do this to each other. This person was not your friend. You will make friends again. It may take time. Nowadays, it is I don't have any friends who live where I am at. I have tried making friends but it just hasn't worked out. But I do have 2 best friends who are like sisters to me that I still talk to on the phone and on the internet. Please keep sharing with us. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))

Big Hugs MistyBlue..

I just wrote you a private message.

I've been there with a divorce. It's so hard to lose a good girlfriend.

Please see your inbox for my message.

Would love to be your friend!

BlondYank

poor misty blue how awful for u but look around hon lots of people survive things like this, what doesnt kill u makes u stronger
sending u positive vibes and loving thoughts

Hey Misty, at least you are on this site trying to reach out & connect & maybe learn one of lifes hard lessons about ourselves & others that we surround ourselve with that can at times really hurt/harm us, its a rough journey but I've learned to not let others live "Rent Free in my Mind" any longer & only look in the mirror at myself w/a clear mind "Do unto others", take care of YOU, dont even think about what others are thinking.........

April

Good advice April! This site is awesome!! So many people care :)

yes this site is awsome :) i like to say its the survivors club

Hi Mistyblue,
First off, I really dont know how I even ended up on here. I guess I am lonely and I was looking for a support group for people dealing with caring for a parent with Alzheimers and how it takes a toll on everyone, but I couldnt find a group pertaining to that on here. So I just started looking around on this site and saw your post.

My heart goes out to you. I live in a small town as well and I know completely how that is. I think it is horrible that your best friend had an affair with your husband. Honestly.. as sad as this sounds, its like you were her best friend and she was just using you. You are better to be rid of her, no matter how hard that may be right now. True friends do not to that to one another. You will meet new friends, maybe even at your new job. But you will. It just takes time. Though I do not know what you are going through (I have been married 24 years with no cheating) I do understand how it feels to have a best friend betray you. I hope you can find it in you to move on and work on healing yourself! Dont ever think you did anything to deserve that. There is no reason to betray a friend! I hope your husband is truly sorry and can be fully comitted!!

hi there pjkids

u are more than welcome and thank you for your positive advice to mistyblue.
im sorry that u are in a small town and coping with family life and parents who have alzhiemers, it cant b easy.

please feel free to exchange info with us and if we can we will help u. how far along in the disease are u and what drives u insane for me it was the constant childlike who are u where are we etc and the change from a capable to unable parent, i was already mourning the loss of them before they had even left.

sending u positive vibes and loving thoughts

Hi Domestic,
Well, my dad passed away a year and a half ago from the disease and my mom has had it for about 3 years, though it has progressed more rapidly in the past year. She used to live at home but now lives with us. I guess what bothers me the most is that I feel like I am the only one really caring for her. I dont get a lot of help, so I am with her all the time and it brings me down. She also has HBP and has had 3 unresponsive episodes, all putting her in the ER and being admitted. The docs really dont know for sure why she is going unconscious, but it makes it more difficult to do things with her. So I guess the most frustrating is that I spend so much time with her, yet she is bored and lonely and wants to go home. I tell her over and over she is home but she doesnt remember. She still thinks her mom who has been goine for 46 years is still alive. Sometimes she gets very agitated, but the meds she is on do help. I dont know anyone around me that has taking on the role of caretaker so as much as my friends "try" to understand, they really cant. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my sad story and taking the time to respond. I do understand the mourning of them even when they are still here because it is not the same person. Did your mom or dad have the disease? and are they still around?? Thank you so much for your kind words!!!

hi pjkids

i no exactly where u are coming from as well, it was my gran who had it she raised me cos both my parents worked, its kinda scarey when u have only known them to b strong and positive to become frightened unhappy people.

she lived with us because both my parents were unable to accomodate her, she would set off from theres for her home, i had stairgates to keep my young daughters in so it made it harder for her to escape

glad to b of help

as usual positive vibes and loving thoughts