Need help for dementia caregiver.My name is Marianne and I

Need help for dementia caregiver.My name is Marianne and I am caregiver for my husband Chuck. He has had MS for about 12 years. About 4 years ago he had a stroke, 2 years ago he had a mitral valve replaced and now has dementia. Its getting worse by the day, it seems. He is to the point now he thinks I am everyone but his wife. I am having a hard time struggling with this. I know I shouldn't probably pay attention when he doesn't recognize me, but being married almost 55 years, Oct. 28, it hurts me deeply.
Due to the MS he doesn't normally know when he has to urinate or have a bowel movement. Since he cannot get to the bathroom or commode he has to go in his diaper. He is pretty much bedridden. Any suggestions on what to use to get rid of the irritation?

Hugs to you! Im sorry this is what life has become for you. Im unclear if you are referring to mental irritation of your situation or a physical irritation with your spouse. If its mental, i would suggest meditation and going to a dementia caregiver support group.
Otherwise, im wondering if an anticholinergic medicine is aggravating the situation.

@bebobaBetty The irritation is from being in the stool and wet diaper. I ask him constantly if he has to go to the bathroom so he doesn’t wet or dirty himself but normally get the same answer. So unless I smell something its hard to know if he has done anything.