Need help getting out of a eighteen year marriage

I have been in a dead beat marriage for the last couple of years. I am a stay at home Mom without a job. I have been looking for a job for the past year and have had no luck. My husband does not want me to go to work because I think he wants me to depend on him. I am just the opposite. I do not like depending on anyone. I have no where to run out of this relationship. We have a fifteen year old daughter and that is why I think we both are staying together. I feel like with him, I am living with a roommate. There is nothing about our relationship that indicates this is a marriage we are in. We have not had sex in over a year. I need to find more ways to depend on myself and need advice on getting out of a dead beat marriage. Again, I do not have family to run to nor do I have the financial security to get out. Any suggestions? I am so depressed being in this relationship.

Hey Dat, I wrote to you on another site, I'm in the same boat w/you & it is very stressful to say the least, again am glad your here & please take it one step at a time, there are alternatives & they will take alot of patience on your part & you will eventually achieve your ultimate goal, you can send me a message if you'd like, just click on my pic & I'll give you my experiences & how I'm making headway. My modem died but its back up today.



Well put flowergirl & there are alot more ins & outs, as your aware of & better to at least try to put as many ducks in a row as you can IF noone is beaten the hell outta you & the situation not extreme but I get where your coming from & so does Dat & one can only try & think some things through if applicable.

Hi Flowergirlho2,

My relationship with my husband has been detrioting for years. Not having sex has been over a year and I final decided that is ok. He is very much of a control freak and I knew that marrying him. I guess I did not think it would come to this extent. Sometimes I really believe he wants me to leave him and get a divorce in which I plan I doing once I am on my feet and have the money. I cannot wait until that day comes. It seems like forever though. He belittles me and makes me feel bad about myself. I am over that too but sometimes it still does hurt. I have to bite my tongue and deal with it. Wish I could find a job but it has been hopeless for over a year now. He does not want me to work but too bad. If I found anything I would jump at the opportunity. I have to learn patience but it is very hard. He treats my daughter the same way and she said she cannot wait until she is eighteen to move out and make decisions of her own. Thanks for answering my post. I envy you that you were able to leave. DAT


HELLO! Keep on looking for a job and never stop you will find something. I wish you the best. Do it for yourself and also for your daughter she dosen't dererve to b treated bad.

About the sex situation have you guys tried talking? Maybe he dosen't know how you feel. I am happy that you decided to be dependent because it is important.



Hi Ana,
Thanks for all the advice. Sorry it has been awhile since I have been on this site. I have landed work, working for my brother. At least it is some income for me. I did speak to my husband about the sex situation and had never gotten anywhere with him. The more I try the more aggreviated I get. I am so done with all of that. It is an endless situation. Thanks again for all the advice. Debbie

Hi Ana,

Yes, as far as sex, we talked about it numerous times and I had told him how important it was to me. He still has done nothing about and has no desire too.

Thanks everyone for the thoughtful words.