im new here and need some help. my husband and i have been split up for 4 months. he has his g/f living with him in MY HOUSE. we cant seem to leave each other alone as far as moving on. we have talked about getting back together and working things out, he talks about his relationship with g/f not working, and we still love each other. my confusion comes when he tells me all this stuff but has still not gotten rid of g/f. says he doesnt want to hurt her because he does love her, just not like he loves me. i have forgiven him for cheating, but i need him to get off his butt and do something! any advice? im tired of hurting every day, and i want him back. please help!!
Laydebug, thank you so much for being here with us and for sharing. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I think that your husband's actions now need to speak louder than his words. If he really wants to be with you and wants to make your marriage work, then he needs to end things with his girlfriend and have her move out. At present, what he's doing is really not fair to you.
Please know that we are here for you and here to support you through this.
Tell him every day to avoid hurting her he hurts you. Tell him how hurt you are, share your feelings of emotional pain, not rage and anger but hurt etc. Tell him how much you love, admire and adore him.
I am sorry luv, to tell you that he is in it for him and no one else. If you were what you wanted, then that is all he would have. Letting him demean and lower you to his personal doll. you are worth so much more then a 2nd or more. Not trying to hurt your feelings just want to maybe see it another way.
Oh sweetie,
I feel so so much for you right now, the pain you are going through I can't imagine it, I wish I could give you a huge hug and take it away.
I have to say though if he loved you like he says he loves you he wouldn't do this to you. It seems to me like he enjoys stringing the two of you along. I would say it's time to say "tell the girlfriend bye bye or lose me forever", simple as that. Would you ever ever ever dream of doing to him what he doing to you? I completely and utterly understand that the emotions that go along with the sentence I just said aren't cut and dry, but he is not respecting you at all. And in your heart and soul have you already forgiven him for cheating on you, I seriously doubt you have, I think if this marriage has a chance of success he needs to make a move or leave you to move on, because what he is doing right now is completely selfish.
I don't want to hurt you sweetie at all, at ALL, I want to see you happy and fulfilled by the person who knows what he has when he has you.
Love to you hun
Moongal x
Hi Laydebug, I've read the posts and I have to say, in this case I'm agreeing with a whole lot of what others are saying too. That girlfriend has to get OUT OF YOUR HOUSE, your husband has to choose one or the other of you, and that's all there is to it. I can't even imagine him having the nerve to move his girlfriend into your house. I had a cheating husband for sure, he did bring his affair gals into the house and got caught, but at least I can say he spared me the BS of actually moving one in to live there before I finished up divorcing him. This is SO wrong and SO unfair to you. Your husband can't have his cake and eat it too....that's not how marriage is meant to be. If he chooses to get the girlfriend out of your house, and you truly feel you have forgiven the cheating and can put the marriage back together, that would be great (it's not like I'm totally against marriage at all)...but you can't let him be doing this to you.
I wish I had something more positive to say, but because you're here for help and support like the rest of us, I choose YOU and YOUR happiness, not his because his idea of what is fair and works is way off base Laydebug, no one deserves this kind of treatment from their husband sweetie. No one.
Sunshine!
Hi Laydebug, how are you doing and feeling now? Just checking in. Hope you are well.