New 2 site in need of support

I meant to put this under Discussion not Journal. My mistake.

I have never done anything like this before but thought this site was a good way to get support anonymously and free. After a lot of self reflection I have determined my issues but have no idea how to overcome them. I really believe I am addicted to food. I tend to binge eat when no one is around and starve myself in the presence of others. I am totally preoccupied with food and weight every waking hour. I find I have little control when eating alone yet feel totally empowered when I am able to refrain from eating for a significant period of time. I started having issues with food around the 2nd or 3rd grade. I would hide food in my room. I believe I have abandonment issues because my father had outside child when I was seven and although he still came home to visit his 5 children with my mother we were no longer priority. This is also around the time that I was being inappropriately touched my a family friend while visiting my sister over 2 summers. He was only a teenager himself so I don't know if it is considered molestation but it didn't help my image of men nor my body. I was already enduring getting the crap beat out of me by my brother on a regular basis and that would not stop until I was about 12. I think I used food and acquired ability to emotionally shut down to people to regain control in my life. At that age that was the only thing I had any control over and still do today. Hopefully someone understands what I am trying to say. I have always been a misfit and often feel I must have been born in the wrong place at the wrong time. I have lived my entire life finding no one who understands me. Thank you in advance.

Dear newbieReese,

I am so, so sorry. The things you've described NO ONE should have to go through.

I'm glad you're reaching out for help, and I can assure you that you'll find a very safe and supportive environment in this site.

I would also suggest that you seek some professional help. I know, I know; it's not anonymous, and it's certainly not free, but it's something to keep in mind. Don't cross it off the list just yet! It can be *extremely* helpful.

In the mean time, keep posting, and let us know how we can support you.

Very glad to be here for you. :-)

Love,
Vero

Rose...welcome to the site. You are safe her to share and express your emotions and feelings freely, without condition. Reaching out for help is a true strength, so allow yourself to feel good about that!
Are you seeing a professional or do you have anyone close to you who is supportive and understanding?
I hope you will share more about yourself and continue to write...take care...Jan ♥

welcome to the site!

hope you more!

love
maureen

Welcome to the site!

I am so sorry about your past, but this is a great place to vent, to share, to have others relate to you. It is a great comfort!

Keep writing.
allee