NEW adderall and ritalin addict

well ill try not to make this too long and im hoping to get a reply fast as this is finally getting to its worst i belive and i really need some help.
well i am a 17 year old girl im going to be a senior after this summer. my sophomore year i had experimented with drugs starting with weed of course and then along to xanax percoset vicoden and others and even exctacy a couple times. the only thing i had tried that is now my current problem was adderall. im not ADHD and have no need for this drug what so ever. a friend gave me a 30mg capsule of adderall one day and i was up for over 24 hours and i just loveddd it. i began doing it as much as possible whenever i could get my hands on it and oddly enough a lot of the people i hung out with were getting into it as well so it wasnt too hard to get it. toward the end of my sophomore year i was taking at least 40mg in the morning then snorting 10 to 20 mgs at lunch in the bathroom and taking even more after school with my boyfriend whom i had exposed to this drug as well. him and i had even bought a girls entire 60 pill prescription once from her. well he eventually stopped and thought i had too but i continued. ive hid it from him for a year. that summer i had even went to my doctor to try to get adderall but was prescribed ritalin instead. its been over a year now and basically ive been snorting or popping ritalin and or adderall together on almost a daily basis. this entire time i have thought i was in complete control and could stop whenever i wanted. i havent wanted to. i loved the feeling. the alertness and being awake and talkative and just full of energy. i even exposed some of me best friends to it and they were doing it with me as well.
i have stopped all other drugs. ive had no desire for anything other then this. i think it was about a month ago.. i finally realized i am losing control. i feel like i cant function without these pills. on the very rare days i dont have them in my system i will not go out i will not shower and i will just eat and eat and eat..
i snort ritalin up to 4 or 5 times a day. 20mg at a time usually. and ill mix the adderall with it as well. recently ive been getting blood when i blow my nose. and the past few days.. my gums are incredibly sore and i cant even brush my teeth without it killing. and when i do i spit up pure blood.
also ive noticed when i snort my ritalin.. my ear pops.
well anyways i tried summing my story up as much as possible but thats my problem right now.. and the worst thing is i dont WANT to stop. i dont want it. but i know i need it and im trying to want it. i really am. especially with my health starting to go bad.. i need to stop im scared of what may happen if i dont..
if anyone has any opinions or input or stories of going thru the same things.. please help. talk to me id love to be able to talk to someone who has been thru the similar things.
thank you for reading..
God Bless all of us.

Hi OutOfControl17, Welcome to SupportGroups.com . After reading about you getting blood from your nose, spitting up blood and how your guns and teeth are, I suggest you seek medical attention from a doctor immediately and also tell your parents since you are underage. At least tell another adult what is going on with you. Keep us posted on how you are doing. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))

Thank you for your concern and advise. I did tell my mother last night about my problem. But.. well i guess sence you dont know me or my family you wouldnt understand this very well. My mom doesnt take things too serious. I had even started crying and showed her my toothbrush after brushing and it being filled with blood. She didnt take my pills or anything like i had hoped she would. And i do not have the strength to throw them away.. idk its hard but thank you at least someones listening to me :) just wondering.. do you happen to know what it means that my gums are bleeding when i brush? i know the nose is clearly from snorting and tearing up my nose. but why my mouth? thanks again and God Bless.

I don't know why your gums are bleeding when you brush. I looked at the side effects for both ritalin and adderall and don't see any mention of that made. The bleeding gums could be related to your using adderall and ritalin or it could be something on its own. You really should see your doctor and possibly dentist and get yourself checked out.

please hun go to the hospital that doesn't sound good. Your too young for something to go wrong. God bless...

Yes, please get someones attention that will listen to you or walk into an emergency room, I'm proud of you for speaking out & attempting to get your mothers help but again if no response from her, keep trying to get HELP, we're here & listening to you.

April

(((((hugs))))))

I am going to venture a guess here and ask, have you lost a lot of weight? Has your nutrition been quite poor? If you are going days without eating you MAY be suffering from a lack of vitamins....not to scare you but have you ever seen someone with meth mouth? Their teeth rot out cause of poor nutrition and poor oral care.

I am considerably older than you and I have abused the hell out of ADHD meds, cocaine, and meth. Meth is my preferred drug. I have over a year off it. By the grace of God my teeth look good, but they are deceptively weak. I have had a root canal and two fillings since quitting.

You are going to go through the SAME kind of withdrawal that people coming off speed and coke have....the good news is, it is not like opiates and benzodiazepines which the withdrawal from is physically painful. I don't know anything about that from personal experience. Uppers were my DOC and nothing else appealed to me.

Speed withdrawal is basically you are tired, hungry, and feel like your brain is kind of foggy for a while. The first week is the worst of it.

I am so glad you are reaching out for help.

Perhaps NA or a counselor could help. I understand about not feeling strong enough to throw away your pills. I would never be able to throw that away. You said your mom kind of blew you off....can you talk to your dad?

Best wishes....

thank you all for you comments and advise. I will start by saying i did reach out to my mother again and broke down to tears and said to her that she must not understand how serious i am about my addiction and how i am not over exaggerating. this was yesterday.. i had decided to try not taking any pills at all for the first day in a couple months. a friend had told me i couldnt quit cold turkey and i needed to ease myself off it. well that makes sence now because that day i wasnt on any pills at all i felt more high and out of it then ever. i felt like i had smoked a bunch of weed and was so weak and yes very hungry as well. i do have problems with eating. i go days with eating nothing but maybe a bowl of cereal in the morning before snorting some pills. i always try to eat something before getting the pills in my system but its usually nothing of nutrition or with vitamins in it. ive been trying to cut back on snorting pills and just taking them but it seems like i need so many more when i take them orally. the gum bleeding issue has stopped a little but they still are sensitive to brush. i guess im lucky that i have realized my problem right now and havent had the chance to get my hands on any cocaine or meth. im pretty sure if i had the chance my life would go much more down hill then it already is. ive been loooking into meetings around my area i could attend. im still trying and with the help of a good friend he is looking out for me as well.
thank you all so much for your support and understanding. its so nice to be able to talk about it and have actual people who know about what im going thru give me advise and feed back, even if i dont know you in my real life.

i did forget to mention. the day before i went without any pills at all i had a.. i guess you could say "party night" which i hadnt had in a long time and had been trying to avoid. i got together with an old friend who just had a baby. she wants to lose weight so she got a bunch of adderall of course. we snorted a lot that night as well as drank. we stayed up the entire night and by about 7 in the morning we were watching tv and i had a cup of coffee right after snorting some adderall. i felt my hands getting tingly and hot and i felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. i was getting very foggy vision as if i was going to black out. i had never felt more like i was going to die then i did at that moment. i drank a lot of water and called my good friend and he was very upset that i had gone and done this so he basically told me i did this to myself and to go relax and call him later. thankfully i was okay.

i just dont know what to do anymore.. who knows another night like that very well could kill me.. and i need to do something about it before that actually happens. im getting scared for myself.
again thank you all.
God Bless.

I’m new here also. I’m 45 and started adderall ten years ago for A.D.D. and it worked wonders, when I took it as prescribed. Then about 2 years ago, I started giving a friend some of my pills. When I ran out, she gave me ritalin. I hated ritalin at first. It make me shakey and nauseated. Then one day before I knew it I was hooked. (i never snorted until the ritalin)Now I snort 15-20 20mg. daily and still have no energy. IT ONLY GETS WORSE. I tried to cut back also. I finally believe that I can’t do this myself. I have a very addictive personality with alot of stress in my life. I use to numb out my feelings. My suggestion to you is to find a treatment center that can help you get off these pills for good. Also, I believe, we use ritalin more than just for energy. I believe I have underlying issues that I need to address also. If I don’t address this I will relapse as I have on other substances.(marijuana and opiates)
Your in my prayers, Lana

It is good that you are trying to put a stop to this NOW. I am very proud of you. I know that doesn't mean much coming from a stranger, but it is a big step.

I know what you mean about your heart racing. Several times I did so much dope I thought my heart might explode. And when you lay there, trying to relax and you know there is NO WAY you will sleep, your heart pounding....the "fun" is over...now you just feel your heart beating out of your chest, sick to your stomach, etc...all that mess....ugh. That, my friend, is tweeking in a nutshell....all stirred up, can't relax, don't feel good, etc. Please try to remember exactly how that felt the next time you crave.

And I KNOW how good it can feel...I really DO...when it is good....but the price you pay is too steep....it will steal your youth, your beauty, your sanity, your faith...it will leave you a shell of a person. I never loved anything more than I loved that feeling of being so alert, so happy....but it is UNREAL how crazy it made me, how much of a pain in the *** I was....I ignored my family...husband and kids....went through all kinds of money.....ran wild....took a leave of absence from a job that took me 5 years of college to get, because I was so paranoid...and I am one of the LUCKY ones. I didn't lose my house, my cars, my family, and every other good thing I had.

Every time I think about getting a bag, I think about hiding in the closet when my family was out of town...with a hunting rifle...because I heard "people tapping" on my house.

May God be with you and give you peace, and surround you with love.

I will think of you.

Thank goodness Joker_girls here, please listen to her she knows & let her lead you & she says it sooooo well & true...... we're here for you.

April

I feel the same way you do...Told my husband and a friend about my addiction after an all night binge. They really did nothing. She took my pills but when I asked for them about 4 days later she gave them to me! I was really hoping for some sort of intervention or something. Long story short, I'm still snorting the ritalin and trying to find some courage to get the help I need by my self. But I do feel better knowing that there are others out there going through the same things I am. I don't know if this will help, but I do know that it will get better! Just got to get there.

just want to let you know i've read you story and i'm praying for you. i would be concerned about your health first. i'm old now, but was into self-mutalation as a teenager and suffer much physical abuse over the years. well, i was tough and could deal with it then and the scars were cool. now as a parent and a respectable job, it's not so cool anymore. it won't be cool if you loose your teeth before the age of 21! You know you have to stop this before it kills you or if nothing else, destroys your life. As far as your parents, i can't relate to the snorting of drugs, weed has always been my crutch. however, i do know about parents not listening or realizing that you seriously need them to help you. i believe if you could just seek someone to reach out to. i think it's great you are talking to us and i hope this help. it does me. but i believe you can go to a hospital and sign yourself in and you'll be covered, if you're under 18. good luck. talk to a church member, teacher, another family member. please know you're life is more important than how you are treating it right now. be the person you can be. praying for you...

hunny you neeed to get some help it is hell doing drugs so ya get help as soon as you can

Hey guys! I want to help and be helped. I jus got done writting a great post but put it under just the adderall group I would like to post here or under addiction any idea how to dothat? Im new here :)

Click link! :) takes u to my post cuz looks like I obviously posted in wrong place
http://adderall.supportgroups.com/sg/adderall/support-love-peace-support-its-your-life-end-the

I would love to help u,,, I tottaly understand what u r going thru its a vicious cycle of chaos that you..that we can break.

Hey,

I'm in the same boat. I'm 29 and have been taking Ritalin, Adderall, Dexedrine- basically whatever I could get my hands on, on and off since I was a freshman in college. I have always abused it, never been able to control it and I know now I never will. My husband and I just had our first baby and I have a history of anorexia, so I was obsessed with losing the baby weight. I am taking ridiculous amounts of Adderall now and I can't seem to throw them out either, even though I know I have to stop. My tolerance has built so fast, it's not even worth it anymore. My daughter is 10 weeks old and I refuse to let her grow up with an addicted mother.

Hey-quick intro-I've been taking adderall for 6 years since I was 18 & I just took my last 1/2 adderall tonight & tomorrow will be the beginning of my terrible, miserable journey to be free from this evil evil pill! Anyway I was reading about your story & you said your nose bleeds & you can barely brush your teeth right? Well I noticed a lot of people were saying you should seek immediate help from a doctor b/c this was not caused by adderall which prolly freaked you out been more. Well, if you ask me, I do not think anything is wrong with you, it's just another one of the "lovely" outcomes of adderall binges-I have nose bleeds quite frequently & I don't even snort it. My sister is a nurse so I figured she'd know so I asked her could it be from the adderall (since I do have terrible sinus problems) & she informed me that adderall, especcially large amounts, can cause the the blood vessels in your nose to get thinner which leads to easy bleeding. As far as the mouth tenderness I also experience that because I grind my teeth & clinch my jaw terrible bad & usually don't even know it when I am on adderall due to all the built up adrenaline. I have always had a nervous habit of biting or chewing on my lips so you can only imagine what happens when I am on adderall-without even knowing it i apparently bite my lips, grind my teeth, clench my jaw & all sorts of other gestures which eventually after being up for 3 days hurts like hell & causes ulcers all over the place..which I'm sure you know can be quite painful when you try to brush your teeth with an ulcer because it burns. Well anyway, just wanted to tell you this so it could maybe cause a little less stress in your life..by the way..adderall is the freaking devil & the hate that I have for it cannot be put into words so I totally feel your pain & completely understand.