New and Clueless

Hi, this is my first post and I'm very new to talking to anyone about this, but I figured since I can't talk to anyone in my town without practically being chased down the street with a pitchfork I should try a more accepting audience :). I'm sixteen years old and it took me a while but I have accepted and even become proud to be a lesbian. I'm still waiting for the right time to come out, which is a problem in itself, but that's not at the forefront of my mind. My biggest problem that I absolutely have no idea how to handle is the fact that I am in love with my best friend. I've known her practically my whole life and I adore everything about her. But she is the kind of person who is logical and rational and doesn't understand love and feelings. Also I'm pretty positive she would never feel anything for another girl. Regardless I still have extremely strong feelings for her and I don't know how to handle them. They drive me crazy because I'm with her all the time and I can't do or say anything to give any indication about how I feel. I've already told her that I'm a lesbian and she was fine with that, and my heart begs me to tell her that I'm in love with her, but my brain holds me back and says that she will never talk to me again if I do. How do I move on and get her off my mind?

I hope you know everything you are going through is totally normal. I am now 30 and came out to my close friends around 16 also. I will say there was nothing wasy about it. It took me almost 3 years to fully come out to everyone. It was my best friend who I came out to first and like you I was also in love with with.
I did tell my bestfriend how I felt about her and was lucky that she was understanding. While she did not have the same feelings for me, she still stood by me.
I look back now and realize while I did love her it wasnt the type of love you will one day know.
I think when you are first coming out it is all very confusing and hard. She is the one closest to you and knows you the best so it is easy for you to look at her as the one.
Before finding my first real GF, I had a habit of falling for my closest friends. I am a very loving person and love to show and give my love to others. With my friends, I would do anything for them. The apprecation I received from them, made me want to do more untill the point that I would literlly fall in love with them....which is unfair to both parties. I was setting myself up for hurt and putting my "Friends" in a awkward position.
So with all that said....first I wouldnt put so much doubt in ur friend. Give her a chance, tell her that you would like to talk to her. Explain to her, that these feelings are all very hard for you and that because you are so close to her and vice versa, that your feelings are becoming stronger for her. Assure her that it doesnt mean you dont respect your friendship and its boundaries. You have to know that what you are telling her may not be that big of a suprise to her...but still a lil awkward.
Have you explored outside of your best friend...Have you looked for other girls in our town. See whats out there :) You may be suprised!
Either way the very best of luck to you, please know you are never alone with these feelings.

My BF is still to this day my BF, I still love her just as much as I did when I was 16. But its a love that is for sure different than the love I have felt in a relationship.

the best advice.. I can give you.. is live your life... and feel proud of been gay.. I am gay.. and I am so happy.. I have my partner for 5 yrs I love him... and I always tell him. been gay is nothing to be ashamed of, so be honest with yourself and with everybody else.. life is so easy.. if people really loves you once you tell them they will be ok.. if they don't.. really love you and they react wird is that they are not very close to you... your family always will accept you and love you the way you are.. but please.. always remember you need to feel secure and happy..


1 Heart

i`m gald u feel comfortable with your own sexuality, its so good to see that u are in control of who u are.

stand tall and b proud of knowing more than most people at your age.

its easy to love best friends u no them so well, but when u find the one it will make everything u feel now pale into nothing.

yes u might live in a little town now but as u get older and move away or even travel more u wil find there are loads of people who choose to live life and let others live there lives with no comments,

as always

loving wishes and positive vibes

I am dating my best friend. I was scared to tell her, but when I told her she had the same feelings which was a HUGE relief.

Just be honest with her. You never know what may happen

Good luck.

<3 AtleticArtist23 <3

Thanks to everyone for your excellent advice. It's much appreciated. And I'm definitely taking it all into heavy consideration. I think the only major thing stopping me now is being scared out of my mind to bring this up.

You can do it. Just stay strong.

Thank you for your confidence. She makes me so crazy and uneasy. Everyone is right though, this is too much to ignore anymore. I have to do something about it.

If you need anything just let me know :)