I am 48, new here and feel like a train wreck. I have had almost every symptom of ADD since I was a kid but have never been officially diagnosed. I get angry, frustrated, impatient, etc, etc. Still single because I end up blowing good relationships including another great girl 2 weeks ago. I have an appt. with a therapist next week but wanted to try this out too. I have to fix this stuff, any suggestions? Do medications help?
bobbyr62 hun, welcome to support groups dear. i'm so sorry for the "train wreck". but your taking steps to get things undercontrol. i'm sure this has caused you great pain. i have a friend that for some years suffered as you do. in his case meds did work. other groups you may want to join for added support are relationships or anger management. there are other groups that you can join if/when you are taking meds as well. grab all the support you can hun. great people on this site very caring and supportive. nothing like talking to someone who's been there.
Thx Kathy, I'm going to try my best anyway. I'm done living like this, fortunately, with a little luck, I can salvage things between her and I. It's going to take awhile though, I have to learn some patience and get less frustrated over things, I;ve been accused of being too "intense" and suppose I am. I mean, I get mad if I don't get a text reply right back or I get caught in traffic, that's just ridiculous when I think about it! My mind just goes a mile a minute and it's exhausting.
your most welcome bobby62, personal experience hun it takes what it takes to get us to reach out and get the help we need. ever hear "pride says need not, fear says dare not" oh darling bobby been there so many times can't count them.... just so happens my husband has the "intense" and he has had to deal with it the way he sees fit. hhmm not getting a text right back could that be jealousy in there to? i'm sure your gonna cover all these issues in therapy. but do be kind to yourself hun, it takes work and won't happen overnight, just keep moving in the positive recovery direction even itty bitty steps celebrate,,,,i'm real proud of ya hun, takes a real man to admit he has a problem and then take action to fix it. KUDOS hun
Hello everyone. I am a 42 year old woman who was just diagnosed with ADHD a few days ago. I had suspected it for a while but I guess I was in denial because I didn't think that could be me. I was a very successful runner starting at the age of 9 and ran through two years of college on a full ride scholarship. When I was growing up I always felt different from everyone else. I was shy and easily intimidated. As I grew into adulthood things got worse. The more responsibility I was given the worse I became. I then turned to alcohol to relieve some of my stress and anxiety. I developed alcohol addiction and emotional dependence to alcohol in order to cope with my issues. A few months ago, I was pulled over for my second dui offense in 5 years. Since being sober, I have realized the alcohol was not causing a lot of my symptoms that I was having which pointed to ADHD. I really thought that I just had a lot of energy. After reading about the illness, I realized that I had problems focusing, listening, comprehending what others were saying and reading, I was constantly restless and would get bored very easily. These are just a few issues I have been dealing with my entire life. I am currently in an on and off relationship to a man i love more than anything. He is a behavior counselor which is good and bad in a way. He brought it to my attention that some of my behaviors were off the wall and of course I thought he was picking on me because I have lived my entire life like this and no one else noticed and if they did, they did not say much. Now after finding out what I have, he is willing to help me get through my issues and help and support me until I can get a handle on the illness. I am thankful for that because I have been in and out of relationships for almost 12 years. What I believe I need to do is to seek counseling for the addiction and find help to manage the ADHD because from what I read, ADHD is manageable. I am a firm believer that with sheer will power, motivation, and hard work, I will get through this and mend the relationship I want so much.
Thanks for reading...
Jenny
Hey Bobby, I wanted to tell you two things. The first, I know exactly what you mean when you get mad about people not texting right back. I used to deal with that, then I would switch to maybe they don't like me...back and forth it would go. I have ruined many relationships in my life but it came down to me getting my self worth from others and not from God or myself. I focused on God and on not letting others determine my self worth and I fell so much better about myself. I hope that helped.
The second part regarding your symptoms, have you ever been to a neuro-metabolic doctor? They look at the brain and the blood chemistry differently, they also look at your diet. Diet plays a huge role because there is a direct link to the brain. If you are sensitive to certain foods this can cause your body to essentially attack your brain or make it inflammed. Typically not a good thing. There is so much more to it than that, but I would recommend finding a doctor like that. I have seen many people get well with that type of help. If you need help locating one let me know.
That last part was also for Jenny. I hope that helps you both.
Hi Bobbi, Im new on here as well. I too am ADHD and was diagnosed a year ago.(43yrs) I've been on meds since and they have made a huge difference in my life. Straterra is what I'm on and has worked well. I do have to eat a high protein breakfast with the medication or it causes me to be sick.I still get very anxious when there are bumps in the road, but makes handling everyday normal aggitations such as traffic jams, long lines at super market less annoying. Its definitely slowed my mind down so I dont feel so high strung. Its in no way 100% cure but definately I feel lots better and its worth whatever risks because STRESS can kill us too. Straterra is not a controlled substance like most ADD meds so is a great 1 to try first. Good Luck to you!! PP
jhannah,
Hi jhannah, I was diagnosed with ADHD almost a year ago. It's a very long process and it's a plus that you're in recovery from the alcohol. I agree that the problems with booze are not the core of our problem. I had some serious struggles with the drink myself. I ended up going to AA about 24 years ago. I'm 47 now. Many of the coping tools I learned in 12 step programs are also helpful in learning to live with ADHD, mainly the part where I developed a relationship with God. These are two different problems though. ADHD has to do with low dopamine levels in most cases: brain chemistry, hard wiring. Just the small amount of information you've shared sounds very much like ADHD. Educating yourself about what ADHD is and what it isn't is the biggest part of the solution, this can take a very long time. I take medication for my ADHD. That is only a small part of the solution though. Not everyone needs medication. No two cases are exactly the same. We have much in common though.
I just joined this forum today, I came here because I want a more Faith based, Christ centered approach. More freedom to talk in terms of my relationship with God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit. Being a Christian is compatible with taking medications in my case. I'm also getting therapy and I'm in group counseling as well.
Acceptance of your limitations and finding your strengths is key for success. If just working harder, and becoming more disciplined was enough I wouldn't have spent so much of the last year reading and sharing with other people who have ADHD so much. I've had to re-learn a lot of the way I approach my life and my relationships.
Of course your case may be very different. But I recommend getting at least one book to start with. The first one I got was Delivered from Distraction by Dr. Edward Hallowell and Dr. John J. Ratey. I wish I would have gotten my first book much earlier on while becoming friends with ADHD. It's a blessing and a curse.
I could talk and talk, write, write n write some more about my adventures with ADHD. But I'll save that for the next time. If you have ADHD, you may not have the patience to read all of my reply, that's a fairly common symptom. Skim away :-)
We don't recover from ADHD the same way we recover from alcoholism. It's a lil similar, I've had to make friends with ADHD. Alcohol is something I had to stop. People with ADHD are a little more likely to self medicate with alcohol, or other drugs like weed. It's a good idea to steer very clear of any addictive behaviors if you want to really tackle this dreaded monster. Then learn to make friends with it. We can't do that with most addictions.
I'm very sure all the bike riding, athletics, and adrenaline junkie behaviors of my past were part of coping with the ADHD. I recommend getting yourself back into any type of exercise. Anything that can get the dopamine flowing in your brain, that "runners high" can work better than many of the medications some of us take. I tried to edit this to make is shorter, It was about 30% longer before editing... that's still a struggle for me. Thanks for your patience. If you skimmed through, it's no problem. That's just another symptom for many of us.
More later.
Good luck, I hope to hear back from you soon.
Here's the site I've done the most work at http://www.totallyadd.com Take a look. On that forum I'm "Robbo"