New here- if I haven 't gotten it by now

I have had a problem with stimulant medications on and off for eleven years and a problem with prescription narcotics (namely hydro and oxy) for more than two. I always go on binges, I don't take the pills daily for long periods of time- my tolerance is so high I go through them fast, then I suffer the agony of withdrawal. Yet every time I do it, it's like it's the first time. Even though I know full well that I can't control it, I try. I've never been a drinker or used illegal drugs. Benzos don't interest me. I've been on low dose Klonopin for years and I've never abused it. I'm more apt not to take it. I tell myself that I'm not out there hustling on street corners, so it's not the same, but what 29-year-old wife and mother just makes up pain to get meds? What person takes three times the prescribed dose of Adderall because she just can't take it properly? An addict, I suppose. I've gone through the 12 steps only to relapse over and over again. I have a 10-week-old daughter (our first) and of course, I used nothing during my pregnancy. But once she was born, I wanted that baby weight off so I went back on Adderall. I got a prescription for Norco at the hospital (with a refill) because I had a 3rd degree tear at delivery. So it's started all over again...

1 Heart

You can beat this. If you stopped for the pregnancy you can stop for a life time. It is going to be hard but if you really want it you can do it. Try and take it one day at a time. Go as long as you can with out it and every day go longer. Getting help will be good for you also. Try and reach out to a support group and take it from there. You can do it.