Hello
I am new to this group. I have had a shopping/spending addiction for most of my life. It has really gotten out of hand. I also have gotten into online gambling, about 5 years. My husband caught me online gambling, that’s when everything blew up. I know I have a problem, I want to stop all my bad habits and save my marriage.
Addiction is a complex and challenging struggle, requiring more than just willpower to overcome. Don’t be too hard on yourself; self-criticism can make you feel worse, which isn’t helpful for recovery. You mentioned something very important: ‘I know I have a problem, I want to stop my bad habits and save my marriage.’ Recognizing the issue is a crucial first step, as it shows you’re willing to face it.
Remember that this habit didn’t develop overnight, so overcoming it will take time as well. Have you considered reaching out to an addiction counselor? They can provide valuable support. Simply telling yourself to ‘just say no’ isn’t always realistic. You might also benefit from an accountability partner—someone you can call when the urge arises who will help you find alternative activities without judgment.
Another approach to consider is setting specific time frames where you commit not to engage in the activity. It’s a small start toward self-regulation. For example, identify a 2 or 4-hour period tomorrow during which you won’t engage in the behavior. It doesn’t mean you won’t feel the urge or that you’ll succeed every time, but it gives you a focused goal to work toward. Don’t announce it to anyone—just quietly commit to it. Before bed, visualize what it would feel like to avoid the behavior during that time frame.
If you find it easier to avoid the activity in the morning rather than the evening, adjust your time slots as needed, but keep practicing self-regulation. Over time, you may find that these periods gradually get longer, giving you a sense of empowerment. Remember, each day is an opportunity to try again, regardless of what happened the day before.
You’ve got this. Take it one day at a time.
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