New to Everything

Mental Health Eating Disorders & Body Dysmorphia
1

Yesterday and this morning i had the worst binge ever.

I'm new to all of this and im not sure where to start. After having to change colleges, i decided to move away 5 hrs from my family to finish my last year and half that i have left. it seem that this new change has brought out a side of me that im not proud off. i seem to have develop an eating disorder. At the beginning of last semester i dropped 10 lbs . Prior to this i was at a healthy 100 lbs, i was eating healthy and exercises at least 5 times a week. Coming to college made me lose my appetite and as i start dropping the pounds unaware i started to become obsess with losing more. Even at the weight i was still not satisfied. That problem was i started slow restricting my food intake more and more. When i came home for winter break my parents worried and i started eating a lot more. Being on such a restrict diet my body started craving more and more food. This began my binge eating part. I started eating boxes off food. I opted to stop buying snacks or anything to keep away from temptation. I recently went back to Colombia where i was born and brought back too many snacks.

I have started binging everyday and is a horrible feeling. I hate not having control of myself.. i feel like is a constant battle within my head, i tell my body to stop but it just keep going. I had so much that i feel a dizzy and have blurry vision. Worst of all i have an exam tonight which i'm avoiding to study because i lost all motivation and i rather eat. I have an appointment with a counselor here at school but in the mean time i need more help. I only told one person about this and he doesn't seem to understand why i cant just control myself and stop. I guess this is why i don't want to tell anyone else, because i know no one really understand.

Why can it just be simple to stop?? i hate the state i am in. I used to love eating healthy and exercising and I would do it for myself and not for a number or a size. For now i decided to skipped 2 classes because i felt horrible, both physically and mentally... i know i need help because it's affecting my every day life.

ps sorry for my horrible grammar, english is not my first language.

2

Strongerthanthis, welcome to Support Groups, thank you so much for being here with us and for sharing. First and foremost, you write perfectly, I wouldn't have known that English is your second language. I am sorry for what you are going through and I am so happy that you are here with us, I think that this is such a big step in the right direction. And, I am also so happy to hear that you have an appointment with a counselor. I wish that this was something that you could just stop cold turkey but it's more than just a habit that you've formed, there's a psychological and emotional reason for what you are doing. Therefore, it's important to get to the root cause and to start working through it, which your counselor will help you do. There are small steps that you can start taking on your own, such as slowly but surely start working on your portions and to start stopping your binging before it starts and replacing it with a positive activity.

Please know that we are here for you, here to help you in any way that we can.