New to groups so i apologize for incorrect formatting. Here goes..
I married my wife six years ago and have steadily gained family members (dog, dog, baby) also we both have changed careers in this time with my spouse assuming the "bread winner" role and I taking on the "family man nurture role". At first things seemed like they would play out wonderfully (we really do have a lucky streak) as she was completing work orders and even helping around the house. The problems started around when my daughter turned three months. My wife just seemed to wake up and became incapable of seeing through even the simplest task. Im not saying she could recalculate the orbital rotation of a spy satellite, im saying she (actual exchange) became completely inconsolable when asked to "pour me a bowl of cereal before you leave?" I had a few dozen things going on with the kids, my work, and the house but I was ready to take it all on, i just would like some cereal first. I wish that I could brush this off but after five months i watched my awe-inspiring "take on the world" wife degrade into a person who cannot continue their day if anything new or unscheduled happens. I love my wife and I miss her, but for the last three months I haven't been "in love" with her she keeps having these breakdowns and though I will do anything to help her I just feel sad for her.
Its a long one i apologize but if someone has experienced this a) im sorry and b) help/advice?
That would be very hard for you with a family to take care of and a job so that would require you to take time off or take some type of family leave, but sounds like she needs mental health care asap.
@beautygirl Thank you. Im new to reaching out so you not claiming me to be a jerk helps.
Hey Melchior51, I'm no psychologist but it wouldn't hurt to research some of your wife's symptoms. We recently went through some grief induced scary mental flare ups with my mom and were able to get some guidance from her physician and church leadership. Perhaps start with her (or yours) Dr?
Mental health is tough and will strain y'all's relationship in unpredictable ways, but your wife needs you to love her (which is not the same as being in love with her). Sometimes that will mean using tough love--getting the cereal; and others it'll mean doing without the cereal, letting go. At any rate, love her. It's a verb after all, not a noun. It's the things we do for each other. God speed bro.
@SirGrits Thank you for your support. I grew up with some really great and lousy males and I hate thinking that ive failed them because I couldn’t help my wife.