Hey everybody. I am so happy to have found this group! I've never really tried to get help before, but I have a big binge eating problem and it is starting to take an enormous toll on me. It has just been getting worse and worse over the years, and now it is pretty much a nightly problem. I live with my boyfriend, and whenever he goes to bed I tell him that I am going to get my lunch ready for the next day, and I really mean to do that and only that, but I end up just eating like crazy. I eat anything I can, but it usually tends to be bread with peanut butter (I don't even use a knife half the time, I just dip the bread straight into the pb jar), fruit (and I mean a massive amount of fruit, I just shove it in my mouth), chocolate, or sometimes it's just plain bread. I will just eat pieces of bread in seconds. Because I end up eating about 7-8 pieces of bread when all is said and done plus everything else I've eaten, I end up eating about 1000 calories a night right before bed. I end up with a huge stomach ache and I feel so disgusting. But then the next day, I'm not still full because it has had a whole night to digest and settle. So it doesn't even effect the amount of food I eat otherwise. I eat normally through out the day, and I actually do not restrict myself because everything I have read says that makes it worse. So if I am already not restriciting myself, what do I do? How do I stop myself once I start bingeing? Anyway, sorry, crazy long post, but I'm so happy to have found this group.
Hi Berry, welcome to Support Groups! Thank you for being here with us. I think that they key is to get to the root of your reason for binging. It's important to find out what you are trying to feed. Have you considered seeking treatment and/or therapy? That would be your best option at this stage, as it will help you work through to recovery. Please know that we are here for you, you are not alone.
Wow Berry... I do exactly the same thing.. Tell my husband I'm packing lunch then binge!!
What really helps for me' is planning a small trip 'away'...a small vacay always helps me' find the 'reset' button.
Best of luck to you
Nadia
Hi everyone :)
I'm completely new to this but here goes.. I'm struggling with binge/ compulsive eating and have been for some time but my self-esteem is at rock bottom at the moment. My main concern at the moment is that i have been asked to be a bridesmaid in May and since i was measured for my dress i have put on quite a lot of weight. This is making me absolutelty dread the day - which then makes me feel guilty!
I desperately want to stop binging but don't know how to. I can also relate to the other posts, about binging at night and consuming a lot of calories just before bed!
Be great to share things on here :)
Hey guys,
Welcome. I feel the exact same, but you've come to the right place for support. At the moment I am abit of a disaster to start dripping out the advice to you, but hopefully soon I'll get back on track. My downfall is usually on a friday and could go on ALL weekend. I've lost all my confidence cos of it.
I just buy a load of food in and eat it all cos it's there and I have to, when I'm on a binge I'm on a roll, and then I'm so guilty that I have to spend time hiding the wrappers. It's mainly chocolate, ice-cream, yogurts really heavy foods. It's awful to do it to myself I hate it.
i hope ye find help soon, i just know it's something ya can't do alone.
Love to you
Moongal x
Hi All,
I'm also new and have the evening binging problem too. Moongal I relate to hiding wrappers. I divide them between garbage pails so my husband won't notice. I also hide what I buy for my binges in low cabinets, since I know he won't bend down to look in them. I tend to wait till he goes to sleep before going on a rampage, or try to sneak it in before he comes home. I've got a thing for sweets, and so tend to binge more on them than anything else.
I don't know how to stop it for good yet, but I must say that since finding this site 3 days ago, I've noticed myself stopping mid-search (for food) and saying no.
So, maybe reading all the stories from all of you and realizing that I'm not alone in this battle is helping. So Berry, Wooly, keep reading and sharing (if you're comfortable doing so). It's all about baby steps, and we're all taking them together!
Strength vibes coming your way,
Elena
Welcome Moongal and Elena!! I know exactly what you mean, I hide the wrappers too and often i'm hiding them just from myself because i feel so guilty and ashamed! My boyfriend is the only one who knows about my issues but i'm feeling really positive about this support group :) and opening up to others in the same situation. Everything is so secretive which annoys me because i'm only hurting myself!!
I think it would be great if we could take these steps together :) x
I recently told my husband about my problem. We were on the verge of divorce for numerous issues and finally had started communicating again. We had been to a marriage counselor a couple years back and she (the shrink) had suggested I go for private sessions (boy did my husband love that! absolution for him!) Anyway, I've done group therapy all through middle and high school and a little in college. So I've been down that route, although I never spoke about my ED. I actually never told anyone, ever. But once the communiation channels started opening up again with my husband, I don't know, I just kind of blurted it out one day. He was very supportive in the beginning, thinking he was the cause. But now he's made a couple of wise cracks, as if throwing it in my face, and I kinda regret telling him. I wanted to go talk to that marriage counselor again, but she's not really specialized in dealing with ED, and she kinda upset me having said that remark above in front of my husband - since he's held it against me since. Anyway, my point is that I finally told him, although I don't get any support really. I get his prying eyes watching me more closely, which only makes me nervous.
If your boyfriend is supportive, that's fantastic! It always helps to have someone close to you for support. I told my husband that I found this website and he was very happy for me. I can't afford to go back to the shrink right now, so it's definitely a great outlet. Especially since it's my first step! It's soooo nice to know I'm not alone in this. Not the only one with the same feelings, issues, and habbits! And it's nice to see posts from people who have gotten it under control. There IS hope. And after 20 years of dealing with this, that's saying a lot!
P.S. I changed my profile name today to ForestChild. After reading so many posts the past couple of days from so many positive people, I don't think I need to call myself Bulemic4Life any more!
-Elena
I like the name change! Good for you for telling him. But maybe it is a good idea to go to a therapist where you can both discuss this revelation and what it means to both of you. He may not understand how terrible his digs at you are or how unhelpful it is to watch you like a hawk.
But telling him was a huge step. Well done!
Thanks! I'm still nervous about it. I guess I kind of feel judged. He's this very square person (which is good in a way). He has never done any drugs, never even smoked a cigarette, has gone through his party days younger but before meeting me (at 27) stopped drinking and partying pretty much all together, and is very collected in all ways.
I'm a very open person ...some would say I just have a big mouth! :) I have been open and honest with him about my past, to a point. He knows I was a party girl. Knows I had a very rough childhood. Have a temper. Little patience. Oh, and I also have OCD tendencies. I'm pretty much a handful to deal with. So slapping him with this bit of info, I'm just hoping it doesn't do me in with him. You know, the straw that broke the camels back?! I guess only time will tell. But, at the time, it did feel good to finally tell someone. I felt like a weight lifted off of me somehow. The burden of keeping this secret for so long. It's actually led me to seek help, even if its ending up being online right now, so some good has come from it already!
If we can get our finances back on track though, I would like to talk to the therapist. I would like to find out why I've been doing this for so long.
Thanks for the positive words and energy. I hope you are doing well and staying strong!
I like the name change too and well done for telling your husband! I was so nervous telling my boyfriend but it is a huge relief knowing i have someone to talk to. I am very fortunate in that he is very supportive towards me and my issues around eating but he doesn't really understand. I definitely think it helps having people to talk to and i am hoping that talking to you guys will help us all! I saw a councellor about a year ago, who specialised in ED but i found her no help at all but i am sure this would not be the same for everybody. Would be interested to hear people's experiences of therapy and if they found it useful?
Stay positive x
Hey All,
Binging is a "zone" in which you've created to "eat freely in." You've created a behavior in which you're "good" all day (which has become quite normal for you) and then have "allowed" yourself to eat whatever you want at night. You've also taught your body when to expect the binge food therefore making you feel as though your stomach is a bottomless pit.
Binging is NOT about food. It's a behavioral issue that needs to be relearned. You binge at night because subconciously you know that during the day you'll start your "restriction" all over again in fear of not knowing when we'll have that type of food again.
First step is to re-establish your relationship with food. Second is to slow down the pace of binging. Eat SLOWER. Teach yourself to TASTE the food.
Last: Once you stop TASTING the food, stop eating.
If that is not enough and you find yourself reaching for another snack, repeat steps one, two and three. Do it until it becomes second nature. It may take one week. It may take one year. Do this to control and hopefully rid your binge habits.
Well that made sense InProgress. :) I never thought of it like that before, "a zone in which you're created to eat freely in". That's true. I do try to be so good all day and then I screw it up at home. And yeah, my stomach does feel like a bottomless pit when I binge. But what exactly do you mean by re-establish your relationship with food?
Thanks for the post and insight!
Wow, it's so great to see how many people suffer from the same thing, pretty much in the same way. My boyfriend and my mom are the only two people who know about my issue. My mom suffers from the exact same problem, so I think to a large extent, it is a learned behavior. My boyfriend actually didn't believe me when I tried to tell him how bad my problem was, he just thought that I enjoyed food a lot, and didn't see a problem with it. We moved in together this past fall, and now he understands. I don't do it in front of him, even though he knows about my issue, because I'm so ashamed. But he notices the food missing in the morning. I even try to think about how much I can get away with eating so that it's not noticible. How much bread can I eat without it being obvious that the loaf is smaller? How much peanut butter can I eat so that it still sort of looks like the jar is half full? So I know that there is something there that is concious as I'm doing this, even though it feels completely out of my control. I just need to tap into that...
Hi All,
Re-establishing a relationship with food means:
1. Relearning that food is NOT the enemy. Whether you believe or not, TELL yourself this EVERYTIME you eat. Your binging is a learned behavior that can be unlearned, retaught, and this is the way.
2. Food is to nourish the body. Tell yourself this whether you believe it or not. You should NEVER be ashamed to EAT; it's impossible to LIVE without food.
3. GUILT should no longer accompany food. They shouldn't even be in the same closet.
4. Do do not "hoard" your food...aka eat less or "good" during the day because you know you'll be able to "gorge" later. I call this hoarding. Tell yourself that hoarding is no longer allowed.
5. Teach yourself that there are NO "off limits" food and that YOU can decide IF you can have it or NOT. If you chose to have it, you will. If you don't, then you don't.
We are creatures of habit so what you say I can't have is the one thing I'm gonna obsess over until I get it. Then once I get it, I'm gonna have ALL of it.
6. I'm going to eat this and I'm not going to feel guilty period.
This is something that you will have to do daily. It's not always going to work but it will work the more you do it. It'll become second nature as waking up and brushing your teeth!
Remember, bingeing is a learned behavior that can be unlearned.
Berry, I know exactly where you're coming from. I can't tell you how many times I've run out of the house to the store to replace things before he's gotten home! But I have to say IP, I like your insight! I must admit, I feel like food's the enemy in the sense that I can't eat what I really enjoy b/c it will make me fat. And while food is meant for nourishment, we have totally forgotten than and made it a pleasure. Which has now become the forbidden pleasure because we are so body conscious. And, we are so tired and lazy half the time that we want the quick food options, which have basically no nutritional value and tons of calories. And since we're making these bad choices, it becomes hard NOT to feel guilty about them. But the tired/lazy feeling must outweight the guilt, or at least the desire to be good because we continue to make those poor choices. <> I also understand the hoarding theory, but I honestly don't try to be good all day so that I can hoard at night. I try to be good all day and then really want to be good at night, but sometimes fail. I've gotten into the habit though of failing at night, which is where your point about relearning the behavior comes in. And you are 100% right. I have gotten used to coming home and searching for something to eat, so now it's the first thing I do. I'm going to try changing my pattern as of tomorrow. Maybe I'll try drinknig a huge glass of water when I get home and then doing some sort of activity. I have to figure out what that will be, and make sure it's on the opposite side of the house as the kitchen. I'll let you know how it goes.
Thanks so much for the posts!
Stay strong everyone. We can beat this. We can re-train ourselves if we keep trying!!!