Just feeling very lost and alone... Just moved to a new state, know no one, alone, in the process of a divorce, and I need to put my cat to sleep due to old age...very sad...
Well like you a lot us here feel the same. I for one can say that when its not my day to have my son with me it feels like Im alone on this Earth. If you wanna you can share your story here with us. Im sorry for your cat. Hope you feel better
Hello Phoenix,
Thanks for the kind words of support. I had to put my beloved cat to sleep (with dignity yesterday (Saturday) and it was very emotional and I miss her still so very much. Loosing a beloved pet who has loved you unconditionally for 16 yrs and 3 months and then have to let her go so she won’t hurt - is just heart wrenching. But I still have two other babies - but I know that she isn’t hurting anymore.
I like your attitude of just keep moving forward. I will take that and try to be a better, stronger person too. Thanks
The loss of a pet is like the loss of a child. My heart goes out to you.
Thank you for taking the time to comment. Yes, they are my children… I appreciate your kind words.
I'm so sorry about your cat... Hang in there, things will get better it just takes time.
I wanted to thank you for your kind words. I now know that she is no longer hurting and in kitty heaven with her playmate Aramis. So she is not alone. Now its just time to heal. Thanks again. I appreciate it.
Hello everyone,
I feel for you, when you don't have your son, I know that must feel horrible. I am thankful that my seperation and impending divorce came when my children are old enough to decide where they want to live. my children are 20, 18, and 16, but it is still hard for everyone.
I too am in the middle of a Divorce,Im the type that puts verything into my wife and pets, and work to make sure I could provied for them, now it's just me and my dog,she took here dog today, I felt so bad, my dog sat in the yard and howled in loneliness. She has a lot of family here, brothers sisters kids grand kids, just me and my dog,never took the time to really make friends, just seemed to busy,and when Iwasnt working the soon to be ex wanted me to be with her,so here I sit on saturday, watching movies, no one to talk with,and I guess feeling sorry for my self,57 years old and no friends to speak of,very one out there, make friends and time for friends, our you will end up like me,lonely and talking to a dog!!!
I am in the beginning stages of divorce, but my life now will continue to be my children, until they go off to college, I have two in college but they are commuters and one junior in HS. I am a very shy person so when I was married I didnt worry about making friends. I had my husband at the time and my children. We moved away from my family so I didnt have them to visit with. So I have decided to make at least 2 friends within 2 years, I know thats not many but its enough for right now. So far I have made one new friend. You definitly need to make new friends because everyone needs someone to talk to, even in the wee hours of the morning when you cant sleep.
I'm new here...and a little intimidated with these sites (honestly I think its only because I get lost). But I am going through.... A separation...as I'm sure all are somewhat ugly - I often feel this is just unheard of. Or that I'm alone. Or that noone else would be treated like this. I'm scared. I'm lonely. I'm....so emotional. Not always down....some days I feel this overwhelming sense of proudness! I'm raising my kids! I gave it my all! My family loves me! I have real friends! I'm the one who will benefit in the end! (I'm my own little cheering squad). But then other days.... Days like today. Where I'm already down, already beaten, and I reach out to him - just as a friend, as someone who shared the last ten years of their life with me, someone who shares three children with me! And he..... He can't even be bothered. Sure he says he's there for me. Says he'll be a father. Says he'll be a friend. But when it comes time....he's never here. And.... It breaks my heart. I could never treat someone this way. And I just.... I want to be over it! I don't want to want him. I don't want to need him. I want to be happy! I just.....can never seem to get that far. Please help.
Posts are cool.... I do get lost....I will try though. I need help. My emails [email protected] as well.
Hi,
I understand what you are going through somewhat, of course everyone’s situation is different, but I too have three children and am now going through a divorce. We seperated on May 1,2010 and I received the divorce papers July 7, he didn’t waist any time, but since that day I have been angry, upset, worried, and scared not knowing what will happen next, it has just been a roller coaster. My children are going through so much because that has been one of the major problems in our marriage (we were married for 20 years), he didnt mind bringing the kids in on our arguments. He was more than happy to start a fight in front of our kids, the neighbors, at the grocery store he really didnt care, and now he is telling lies to our children about me, he is telling them that I knew that he was filing for a divorce (but I didnt) and he is just taking our kids where they dont need to be. Some days I am very happy because we, my kids and I are making it, we are blessed to have a roof over our head, food on our table, and clean clothes each day. It has been rough but I know that GOD has our back, even if my soon to be ex didnt. So keep your head held high and know that GOD has your back as well, I will pray for your strength.
We are all here for something that we did not want or deserve.Being alone is hard to get adjusted to.Look forward every day and stay positive.Good things come to those who deserve it.I am in the middle of a divorse to and it has gotten very ugly!I just keep the faith and say to myself things will get better in time.2 young kids that I love very much and say they are the only love of my life right now.The future holds many surprizes
Zimmy
Hey y'all. I'm Cinda & from TX. My husband of 22 years left in November & has never actually filed for divorce so I am on a constant roller coaster ride. I've always been shy & a bit insecure & though I've grown a lot, I still don't have much confidence especially now. I'm struggling not only emotionally but financially. My children are mostly grown at 22, 18 and 15 so I guess I'm fortunate there. My 18 year old went with him and has been very angry with me for this. I don't pretend to be perfect and will be the first to admit the things I've done wrong, but my husband isn't expected to do that. I, too, feel so lost and alone. I have a good church family & people who are supportive, but they can't be with me every minute & when I'm alone the agony begins again. Looking at our relationship practically, I can see that he had become toxic to me, but that doesn't change how I feel about him or the fact that I don't want our marriage to end. He is the one that left, & yet he will not file for divorce. I will have to be the one to do that & I don't have the strength, will or the money to do it. My other two children are depending on me and I feel so weak. I need so much for someone to understand why I can't seem to let go yet. He says he still loves me, but not as a life mate. My counselor says that means he doesn't love me at all and that is just his way of making it easier on me. It isn't any easier.
Hello Cinda
I did not want a divorse either but when she told me she does not love me and has a boyfriend I had no choice.She just kept saying we need to do this Easy and as quick as possible.She did not say the word divorse but kept telling me that we needed to do it.I did every thing Possible to save our marrage but she refused to even talk about it.It took its toll on me mentally & bodily.I finaly served he with a court ordered divorse That was the hardest thing I have ever done.We were married for17 years known her for 20 years have 2 kids 8-10.You have to have faith in yourself.He should still be helping you with money and if he is not the divorse will make him pay you.Remember you did not ask for this! Do not look back and say I should of done this & should of done that.
2-Way street Remember that.Look ahead and build off this ffor you and your kids.Prayers & Peace
Zimmy
Hey Zimmy,
Thanks for your comments. My husband has not said anything about rushing things nor has he started dating that I'm aware of. He has gone so far as to say that he "loves me, but not as a life mate" and "he doesn't want a divorce, but needs to go his own way". From everything I've been told over the years when you make a statement and then follow it up with the word "but" you pretty much negate everything prior to that, so if I take that that way.. then he's saying, he doesn't love me as a life mate and he needs to go his own way. Either way, I can't keep digging out of this hole that I'm in and sliding back in. The only way to end the cycle is to file for divorce and make it final. The problem is.. I don't have the money right now. I've already been through the "could haves", and "should haves" and now I have to face the "I'm not good enough" and used feeling that I have. I just have to remember that it takes two to make a marriage and I've been willing, so that doesn't make me a failure or a quitter. I've done neither.
Blessings to you and thank you again.
Cinda
Cinda, welcome to Support Groups, have you thought of other options to relieve some financial stress, like taking in roommates or living w/a relative/friend while you seek alternatives for maybe filing for divorce if thats what you decide? You'd mentioned your husband was toxic for you in regards to the relationship, have YOU considered what YOU would like to accomplish for yourself from this situation or is he willing to work through the issues w/you? One can use credit to begin proceedings if applicable & then hold the other spouse accountable for paying, its a long shot but obtainable & sometimes can be done online, not as straight forward as it looks though especially when married a long time. My heart goes out to you as I am well aware of what your feeling & up against, we're all here for you & please keep talking w/us.
Take care of YOU.
April (married 19yrs., husband has alot of mental disorders, 2 kids now 18 & 26 thank goodness).
Hello Cinda,
April is right you can use credit to start divorse then ask judge to have him pay your lawyer fee's.I know this because my soon to be ex is trying to get me to pay her lawyer.My peace for me was fileing for the divorse.You are right about the BUT It is eithier we work it out to stay together or divorse no in between.
The but is never an answer only a ?.Please do not Question yourself. You are good and keep saying this to yourself.We all are not here because we want to be.You can say we are here to grow and become stronger in the pathway to life.Prayer & peace
Zimmy
April, Thanks for the warm welcome. No, I don't guess I had considered credit. I am slipping further behind as it is. He pays me a little every couple of weeks and appears to care about me as a human. It's really a weird situation. A few weeks ago we took my middle daughter to college and he didn't hesitate to include me in buying soda's and helping to pay for gas. Then when I have need to drop by there to pick up the kids or money, he doesn't hesitate to hand me another $20 for a pizza or something else. There is kindness there at time. In some ways, it makes it harder. I have spoken to a lawyer a couple of times when I've felt strong enough to at least get advice and they tell me that I can't ask him to pay my lawyers fees and court costs unless I can convince him to pay that up front and I know he won't do that. Several months ago we were to the point of discussing moving forward and he wanted me to "hold up" so he could research doing it cheaper. I could do it online for around $800, but with 22 years, a house and child support involved, I feel I really need representation.
Thanks Zimmy. It's nice to hear that it's not me. I've gotten some much needed validation the last few days. I'm trying to remember that though I know I'm not perfect, there is a long list of valid reasons that I should want a divorce and his reasons are fairly superficial. He's just quit on us. It floors me that I thought I knew him well enough to know he'd never desert me and he has. It makes me wonder if I can ever trust my judgment again. I just know I hate feeling so helpless, foolish, unloved and worthless. - Cinda
First of you are not helpless or worthless ! Unloved is also wrong you have the kids that love you and your family.I am flat broke to.right now I owe my father 5,000
lawyer 3000 and growing 10000 in credit card bills she rang up and a 5000 loan against my anuity.so as far as using credit you will have no choice.You have to much involved to go any way but thru a lawyer.It is a hard choice to make. but in order for you to move ahead in life you may need closure from him.My other half is so mean towards me I can not even talk to her with out a fight.Take care of your self
Zimmy