New to the group

I stumbled on this webstite and was reading posts and could relate to everyone so well...I'm 22 and have had OCD for as long as I can remember. However, lately I'm really suffering from this horrible condition. I feel it's throwing me into a depression and I need to do something about it. I've managed to make my way this far though so I'm hoping I can continue to work through this myself. My OCD has changed over the years...it started w/ horrible feelings of contamination and dieing. Then I was so afraid someone in my family or my friends would die. I use to wash my hands til they bled but eventually stopped that. Now I worry so much about being a bad person. I'm so afraid I'm going to do something wrong that I'm almost paralyzed some days. I get so overwhelmed all I want to do is sleep. I sleep way too many hours each day and I feel like my quality of life isn't what it's suppose to be. I went to my doctor and basically got no help and then I went and tried to make an appointment at my college w/ the psych. services and they haven't even called me back. I don't have many options left and I don't know what to do. I don't want to tell my parents because they wouldn't understand and I don't want them to think I'm a freak. I thought maybe talking on here would help give me an outlet for myself because it's exhausting being in my own head all the time. I feel a bit better while writing this actually. Thanks to anyone who listen to this long rant.

Also, I found this great quote and thought others might find it relieving

"Feeling are not facts and I am more powerful than my fears"

Good for you in putting whats going on into words here. Please try & communicate w/your parents tho cause maybe they could offer some assistance in finding you other options for relief because you are their baby. Have you ever watched the OCD project on VH1? It is kinda along the lines of exposure therapy to help re-train your mind instead of letting your mind give in to the compulsions over, over & over again. There are behavior modifications that are available & extremely helpful. Please keep talking when you feel like it, we're all here for you & take care of you.

April

hi and welcome

communication is the key could u not see another doctor? or return to that one and go armed with facts, ie what u do when u do it etc adn dont take no for an answer untill they do something (if u tell your parents they im sure will do everything they can to help)

as for the phych department keep ringing untill they do do something i no its exhausting when u have no energy but soemtimes u have to batter on doors to get started on the journey.

as April has said they do some good programmes to help alter your way of thinking (my oldest has ocd) and yes it does seem to evolve all on its own from one thing to another.

keep postin hon and share your thoughts

as always

loving thoughts and positive vibes

I'm also 22 and new to this group and I've also had OCD since I was little. I think that reaching out and realizing that there are others out there who also suffer is one of the best things that you can do.

welcome to support group

keep writing and posting

as always

loving thoughts and positive vibes

Glad you joined us queenbee, one can really get alot outta this site & know you not alone. Write when you feel like it.

April

I've had a lot of different counsellors over the years and it is so difficult when you get one who is ineffective. Express your frustrations directly or move on and try another one. I had one who was absolutely amazing and I will never forget the things she taught me about myself. If you don't hear back from a service, phone them again. Keep a log of when you called and who you talked to, so you can refer to it when you call again. These little acts of assertiveness are your first major accomplishments on the road to recovery, and you can praise yourself highly for having the strength to stay on the road and not fall into the ditch. Resolve to keep trying to get the help you need.

Great advise. Counselors/therapist are human & dont/cant always teach, lead, guide in the right direction, its like trouble shooting an engine, one thing broke & fixed & another problem starts........

I am new to this group and mostly I just count. Count..count.. count. or outline things in my head that I am looking at. I want everything to come out even.
I count words on the tv screen, which by the way, keeps me from paying attention to what is going on. I have had a hard life the past 20 years and this past five or so years my problem has become worse. I also can't stand to see things crooked on a wall and I want things evenly placed on a table. I don't wash my hands all the time.. I am constantly afraid of losing someone, but I thought that was due to losing my 5 yr old grandson, 4 close friends, a dad and another grandson with leukemia. I panic if I think someone is going to do something that could hurt themselves.
I'm sick of feeling like this. I take prozac and it helps with the anxiety but doesn't stop the counting.

i am 45 yrs old and i myself straighten pictures on walls, want everything even and color coded…for example i am moving in with my fiance next month and all i can think of is kitchen dishes/cups/utensils dont match…all my kitchen stuff is pink and/or green…dont get me wrong, he is very neat…but if the potato peeler is not pink or lime green its gotta go…i also have this thing about everything has gotta be even numbers…for example dont ask me to put tv volume on an odd number…i count constantly too…and really didnt realize it til reading your post…sherri

Hi rettarue and welcome. I have been counting things for about 42 years, mostly while going up stairs anywhere (I count the stairs), while slicing things in the kitchen I will count as I slice, etc. And also notice when some things aren't perfect. I used to have anxiety attacks over these things when a child and my parents had a great time laughing at me, calling them "snit fits" until I corrected them on that one about 5 years ago.
Prozac will not help very much with OCD symptoms; see your doctor for something more effective. And a book to read would be "Brain Lock" by Jeffrey M. Schwartz, M.D. It takes a long time to undo a lifetime of OCD activities, and a lot of work, but I am told it can be done. Good luck with your journey.

thank you for answering. i will sure look that book up.
Funny thing is… it seems when I’m anxious in order not to think about what bad is going on… i count. Or I should say it gets worse. Like I am trying to do that instead of think of problem. Then the counting makes me anxious and mad at myself. Drives me nuts. I have to retrain my brain. I am also very co=dependent and am working thru a support group to retrain my brain for that. Other than that I am fine… :slight_smile: Keep in touch

well everyone

once again thank u to all who have responded to this post, its got some fantastic tips and help

as always

loving vibes and positive thoughts