Hey. I’m new here. In the last couple of months I’ve admitted to myself that I have a shopping addiction. It’s gotten progressively worse since moving to this province 9 years ago. I never used to have any extra money to spend. Now that I do, I’m not smart with it. I’ve found myself spending money I don’t have to spend. Shopping with my credit cards and lying about purchases. My partner nags me all of the time. My debt is super minimal compared to hers. I feel very pressured and quite honestly disgusted with myself. I feel like 3/4 of the scrolling I do is shopping. I work my full time job and I also have a well paying side gig. I have no savings to show for it. I want to do better but I don’t know what to do. Surely there is a reason that I am addicted to it. Dopamine for sure. But the stress from this bleeds into other things. I spend money. Feel guilty. Eat more. I don’t want to cause grief in my relationship and I want to help my partner pay off her debt, save money and move forward with life. I have generalized Anxiety and depression. I think back to when I was a teenager and my mother wanted to keep my debit card to set money aside for me. I wouldn’t allow it. If I had- I could have thousands in the bank now. Is it trauma related? I just want to stop. I want to live a good life. Be able to pay my bills, save for a home and have a TFSA for my future. I want my own savings(for a nest egg). Yes I’m with someone but I also want to have money set aside in case anything were to ever happen. I hate myself right now.
1 Heart