Hi everyone -- I'm a 31 year old house wife/student with two children. I find myself sliding farther and farther away from what I'm trying to accomplish. I've been heavy since I was about 8 years old, but at the present I'm heavier than I've ever been. It's causing a lot of self confidence issues and sparking my depression terribly. I've found myself binge eating over the past three days and I can't seem to get a grip on myself. I try to pretend like there's nothing wrong for my kids and my husband but I notice that I'm isolating myself from them more and more.
My husband was hurt on the job and has been home since August. It's been really hard because of his injury, he's put on some weight and that causes me to constantly reevaluate myself. I had a bad experience with some antidepressant medication back in July. It caused me to scratch myself up with safety pins and thumb tacks. I felt I was progressing to razor blades. I tried to seek help but the doctor I saw told me if I exercised everything would be fine. I finally had to seek in-treatment hospitalization. They changed my medication but I felt the entire time I was there, I was putting up a smiling face, happy person front. I can't seem to not fake it when I'm around people who could help me. I want them to think I'm okay and I'm not.
I'm afraid I'll never be okay. I'm worried that my children don't have the mother they need and my husband doesn't have the wife he needs. I don't even know who I am anymore. I could really some support.
hey georgie, welcome!
and you're so right for joining this site, it's awesome :-)
i am really sorry for the pain you feel. and i know what it's like to always feel the need to put on the brave, smiley face! but in the end you need to admit to yourslef that it simply doesnt get you anywhere, if anything it'll make thing worse.
have you talked to your husband about how you feel? do you have a different doctor now who is more professional and who could refer you on to further treatment either with a group or a counselor?
no matter what, we're here for you so keep talking :-)
lots of love
maedi
Hi Georgie! I'd like to welcome you also, and encourage you to seek help from a therapist and/or a psychiatrist who can help you deal with these complex issues.
Please know that this site is safe and very supportive. Please keep sharing...Jan ♥
Welcome to the site Georgie, I think you will find tons and tons of support and comfort here :)
Eating disorders and depression often go hand in hand with one always making the other worse and vice versa. That being said, if you have insurance I would strongly suggest seeking out a therapist or support system rhat specializes in ED's, have u considered doing this before?
Hey there, and welcome. I am sorry to hear about your struggles and i can imagine hard it must be trying to be a good mother and wife, but at the same time being so down and hard on yourself.....i would also try to see if you can get some help through therapy.....i started therapy just a short time ago after hiding my problems for over 17 years, and once i reached out for help i felt liek a huge weight as lifted off my shoulders just by taking the furst step and reaching out. I was very scared that i would be judged, but having people aware of the fact that i need help made me more accountable and i am slowly on the road to recovering from bingeing. If you were heavy since 8 years old and from that time til now you dealt with poor eating and poor body image it will take time to undo all that and break that cycle to start loving yourself again, it may be a long process, but its worth it once you see a change in yourself. I wish u the best of luck and i'm here to support you anyway possible, its hard to speak up and admit your problems and re-claim your life but if you truely want to get better you have to not just skim the surface and hope for on-going success, you need to reach all the way done to the roots of the problem and prepare for recovery!
Hang in there
xoxo
Welcome.... I know the feeling of bing eating. I too am over weight. by 100 pounds. I find myself eating to feel good, then feeling bad because i ate what i shouldn't have. Then I say to myself I diet tomorrow. However that doesn't work to well, I did start my diet, it's been two weeks. I also know what you mean about puttting up a front. When I'm depressed, thats what one of my problems are, I get cry babyish. I have to hold back from crying at times so that my family won't be concerned. Sometimes I cry to get it over with, then I have my family wanting to know whats wrong. I hope this helps a little, but I too am in therapy now and hope my recovery is good. I hope all is well for you too.
Hey Georgie, Welcome, you'll find many here that you can relate with & you'll find some wonderful love & advice so keep talking it through w/us when you feel up to it.
All my strengths.
April
hi georgia-----
welcome!!!!! please dont give up....
you can get through this, you need the proper help.
are you getting the right help now????????
love
maureen