looking for inspiration, friends/support
hey jenilynn, welcome to the site!!
tell us a bit more about yourself or simply start reading posts, i'm sure you'll find the inspiration you need :-)
love
maedi
hi jenni lynn
im sure u have a story to tell when u are ready so in your own time
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
Welcome to the site. Start out with simple questions or telling what you are ready to about yourself. There are a lot of people with great advise on here.
Hey Jenilynn, you'll find many here to talk with if & when your ready & feeling up to it.
Take care of you.
April
Thanks everybody :)
What is happy? I understand that one. It was a moment I expressed only on the outside, when something happened in a way I expected, and I was no worse for it.
Happy: a smile on the outside shown when it is appropriate and expected by another. Played out as if it were real. The constant frown on the inside is always there, or there is nothing. Sometimes, a feeling, like knowing when someone has insulted me and I choose to respond or not respond. Happiness is on the outside. It leaves life looking like a chess game in the mind and looking so fake when another seems to be expressing much happiness.
Is this what you mean?
Is this what you feel?
w/b/s
Well being new to the site myself, I to am looking for the same. And so far this site is helpful in so many ways, if for nothing else to release feelings...it truly does help to let things out. Hard to know that until you do it and see it does, and stick to it...I have that problem myself. And having the trust of others to talk to, and even on here I still have the trust issue online and I have kept things as confidental as possible...its is so comforting though after you post something even if it sounds completely stupid to you it totally makes since to someone else, and getting a reply of such care and concern from people you dont even know and may never know personally. I hope that you feel comfortable to write out your feelings or concerns (stories)on here. You already are cared about, and I am not just saying these things to find out your stories, if you never write anything else on here just know that "your not alone" you will find that many people have alot of the same feelings as you, similar stories, its quiet shocking how many people have such similar stories yet so different too...you will learn from people on here, I have learned so much in such a short period of time. And I am sure you will too, So I will stop rambling to you, wish nothing but the best for you...and hope you find what your seeking in life! ;)
It is great to be able to write my problems and have people understand. It is fantastic to read what other people write and the steps that they are making to improve their lives.
I agree. I hope to help get some stuff resolved myself.
Thanks for being part of this group.
It seems most of us are new here.
I have so much going on, I don't even know where to begin, I have 6 children - 3 were recently adopted by my husband and I, it has been almost 5 years ago), I have Lupus and Fibromylagia and after being married for 15 yrs my husband who had been sober for 17 years decided to start drinking, we lost our house of 5 years. This is my 2nd marriage to him my 3rd marriage total, my first marriage was 12 years and 4 children which 2 were twins, one passed away and the other is still here at the age of 30 but is disabled mentally and is like a 3 year old. I have 8 grandchildren from my 2 oldest daughters.
Husband walked out with 16 yr old son just 2 months ago and lives in next town. He is still drinking and still is very emotionally abusive, I feel alone and sad. My daughter called the police on him and he blames me and says that he will never ever forgive me so I guess there is no chance for us. I love him still( I know the real person inside with out the alchohol) and I miss my 16 yr old but he wants to live with his dad because he can do most things that I wouldn't allow, i.e. drinking, smoking pot and swearing.
The other 2 that we adopted are 12 daughter and 14 son. Son is ADHD, ADD, OCD, PTSD and socially disabled. Daughter is a normal 12 year old and misses her dad. We were so happy until the drinking started, but he says it was me that caused us such unhappiness that he started drinking. When he is sober he is so different and I also have a cat rescue and he hates it when he is drinking but loves it when he is not, now he tells me he will never come back unless I stop the rescue, that is not easy to do, what do I do, put all the cats that are up for adoption to sleep ? I have downsized a whole lot and because of my health I may have to either quit or at least do it on a much much smaller scale which is what I am working on now. I just want to know that I am normal and sane, my husband says I am nuts and nothing I do is ever right in his eyes, some of the things he says hurt more deeply than if he would beat me. I need people that care but most do not want to be in volved, he (husband) also is a great liar and can win most with his sweet talk. I filed for a legal seperation but am wondering if I should file for a divorce instead. Am I ok or is something really wrong with me, thank you for listening. Terri
No, you are not normal. You are amazing. I can’t believe the amount of caring you give to everyone around you. And all of that work with the kids!!! And running a cat rescue also!!! I have often thought about running one for dogs. Have you joined a support group for spouses of alcoholics? I have a few of them in the family. I am not making excuses for him but alcoholics very often can’t see the good people around them and have to blame others for their problems.
terrigem
yes u are normal and im sorry that things are going wrong for u right now like yourself i have an adult daughter who functions as much younger than she is and a few who have other problems so i can appreciate how hard u must find life right this minute and its never easy to find the way thru the path of hurt and pain to the other side, no i dont think u having an illness or a cattery is the cause of his drinking i think he wanted to find a way to destroy things cos it seems two previous relationships have failed so he is unable to deal with something that triggers this break down in himself
as for if u need to file for divorce only u can answer that u are the one who knows this man intimately and can see if he is capable of gettin past the time and place he is in now and do u think u can cope with a recovered drinker who will need to stay strong every day with all that u have to contend with in your life right now although that is further down the line i know
so hon take away the kids cats and loss of things and what would u really like to happen with this man and why
till later
love D :)
I have my computer back and am very excited to be able to come here now. I still have to learn exactly what I am suppose to or not do. I need help but I also love to help people and I am very giving. Want new friends online that I and them do not have to feel so alone.
I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years and a few months ago he started goin on a web site with an old girlfriend of his and he is talking to her and texting her every day and acting like he is in love with her i askhim to stop becuse it make feel like he wanted to be with her not me and he tollme he would but he didnt he is now just doingit behind my back i now he hasnt done anithyng fisical with her but every time he tells me he lovesme i cant stop thinking "how many times has he said i love u to her today" i dont know what to do we have a 6 year old and im a stay a home mom can someone tellme if is all in my head or do i have a rigth to be suspicios all i want is some advice thank you.
If he is still contacting her behind your back then you do have the right to be suspicious. Why did you not want him to contact her? Do they still have feelings for each other?
daniela
hmm sometimes males do these things and u are right to have concerns has anything happened recently to trigger this behaviour in him at all?
is he having any type of problems at work that would make sense of his actions or is he under some sort of strain at the moment
love D :)
Help!!! He is being nice to me. I know that it sounds weird but I have been on this merry-go-round too many times. I know that he is only being nice because he needs me right now (another job loss, 11 different jobs in 12 years, 10 being very acrimonious-he is conflict-oriented and fights with everyone.). But I am sooooo tired. He has been home for several straight months and at this point it seems it would be easier to give in and play his little game.
Welcome to the sit <3 I hope you find this website very useful, i know i have. Its nice to be able to write about what's going on in your life without anyone judging you. Were all friends here and we care :)
@ Terri...You are NORMAL! You are a human being and have every right to upset and feel very emotional...having the medical problems you have and disabled children and have had to deal with a loss of a child and now having to deal with the loss of your husband and what seems like a son...can be devestating, and I can not imagine you pain! You are a God send to your children and to you husband, seems like he is coping with his pain by drinking, he is self medicating and needs help himself, but I know that helping someone who doesnt think they need it is impossible! My heart goes out to you and your children! You seem like a wonderful person, and you are a angel!! Those kids couldnt survive without you, you need to stay healthy for them! Appearantly they dont have their father to help so al the hard work and emotional pain is landed on your shoulders which you already have your health issues...do you have any other family members or friends to help you out? You really need a break, time for you! Easier said than done I know, but you really need time to think for yourself and you will see you are a much better person than what he is making you feel like. You should by no means have to go through all he has put you through on top of what you already deal with! You are a very strong person even though you may not feel like you are! You are doing the best you can for you and your children, and yet still inside of you, you love him! We tend to love the ones that hurt us the most...and put the ones that help us the most on the back burner. And I am not saying you have put your children on the back burner by no means, I am saying you cant be so hard on yourself....you are completely normal, to have to go through all your enduring most people couldnt do it! If you love him so much try to get him help, but I think you have enough on your plate, that he needs to man up and take responsibility! His priorities seem to be lost...but I dont know all the situation but know from what I read you are special, and deserve to be happy with people who love and care for you! Many huggs and prayer to you and your family!!
@ Daniela....you have every right to be upset, and have the right to question him. And not only because he has devoted hiself to you for 7 years and you both have a son together...he should respect you more than that. Tell him how this does hurt you and now has affected your relationship and ask him if the shoe was on the other foot how he would feel. I truly hope that you can work things out and you can be a happy family...for yourself and for your child! Everyone deserves to be happy, and you are not the first to go through this...it happens all the time, and I have seen many come out stronger and happier than before. You should be loved and cared for as everyone should! Trust is such a fragile thing most people take for granted, and its nothing to play with. Some people just take longer to grow up than others and realize they are not the only person with feelings....