I've had pretty bad anxiety for most of my life. I have a nervous disorder called Essential Tremor (I don't know what's so essential about it :-) It works sort of like Parkinson's except it's the opposite. With Parkinson's the person will have a tremor when the muscles are relaxed, but ET works the other way, when my muscles are tensed they exhibit a tremor. It's hereditary, my dad and grandpa both have it (Though my grandpa now has full blown Parkinson's disease after he suffered a stroke) I'm sort of the odd one though because it normally affects people in middle age, whereas I'm 28 now and I've had it for as long as I can remember. It took me awhile to come to terms with it and I have... sort of. The part that makes me constantly nervous is that people tend to take one look at me and just assume I'm on speed or meth. I was friends with a guy I worked with, or so I thought anyway, then later on I found out from my girlfriend (who worked with the same guy at a different job after that) that he was telling everyone I was an alcoholic and that's why I had the shakes. I know I don't need to prove anything to anyone but I hate social situations because of all the times I've had to tell someone about my disorder only to have them say something like "So can you find me some coke?" I feel like I should get 'nervous disorder, not a drug problem' tattooed to my face just so I can stop explaining it to people who don't believe me. I'm joking of course but it's infinitely frustrating. I want to be more social, and the people who have gotten to know me well know what it is and know that it's just something on the surface. I've heard numerous people say that anyone who can't see past it isn't worth my time. They're right but I think it puts me in an unfavorable place when I'm trying to get through a job interview without looking like I'm strung out on something. I can't wait until I'm forty so I can just say it's Parkinson's... it'll be so much easier. You see an old guy shaking when he's trying to eat his peas and you just think, oh he's got palsy or something. You see a 14 year old kid doing and you think he's on drugs. I've been dealing with that since I was born and it's almost turned me into a shut-in.
Awe, Chuck you poor thing! You are too young to have to go through all of this. It is hard enough to be a 14 yr old. You have so much to look forward to so don't let this bring you to a shut in. Are you working at age 14? Why so young?
You need to find yourself a good group of friends and concentrate on them.
Do your own thing, rise above all the comments or questions. I understand how you want to post a sign on your forehead. Me too. I have my own set of struggles. But you are young and need to take care of yourself and your disease. I am just so sorry you have to go through this. It must be so hard, I know honey. It isn't right.
God is always there for you - are you a religous young man? I am Catholic.
You know, there is alot of strength with the Lord - you should keep that in mind. He has paved your path already, so lean on Him to get through and conquer just like he intends you to do.
You will grow old and look back and be so proud of yourself. Sometimes difficult times bring out the best of us.
Lean on your family and friends and of course...The Lord.
Be strong but its ok to show your weakness. Don't bottle things up.
You could always seek a counselor to help you through these hard years.
It would help - never hurt. Just a thought for you. I think you sound like you may not have a good support system in place, you need to get one. Your family, friends, counselor through your Dr's office AND the school counselor. They both can help you deal with things and maintain your confidence.
Good luck to you Chuck! So glad you wrote!! Check in and let me know how you are doing ok? I will pray for you - be strong, chin up - ok? ((((Hugs))))
God be with you and Bless you,
Ave Maria,
jeanna
Sorry I didn't mean to mislead it was more of an example of how people view someone who's hands are shaking at 14 versus when they're 40, I'm 28 now but I've been dealing with this since I was born.