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Hi, i'm new to this whole online support group thing because my great mom refused to get me a therapist unless I told her why but if I did i'd be sent straight to the loony bin. But just saying first off, I don't fucking understand why cutting is so bad if I never do it to deep, its never infected, and its an adrenaline rush for me. I never got the point. I don't get why i should stop.

Hey makeupmonster,
I totally understand how sometimes life can be so tough that sometimes we need something to help us get through it. I can also say that I understand your moms view on how she cares for your health and safety. Many times if you take some time you will find out that there may be reasons causing you to cut yourself(anger, stress etc). If you can explain to your mother that you would like to see a therapist for these reasons making you want to cut yourself maybe she will be more open? I hope for all the best for you!

what i'm really asking for is why cutting is so bad?

would you cut or purposely hurt another person? if your friend was scared, anxious or depressed would you recommend to her to cut?

think about it, makeupmonster, nobody deserves to be treated this way. i know what you mean, cutting is certainly a temporary relief, but it's not a solution to your problems, it only causes further more.

The reason cutting is bad is that it is a sympom of something deeper. Hurting yourself does not get rid of the pain that is at the root of hurting yourself. Hurting yourself is one sympom of Borderline Personality Disorder. I am currently going through DBT and I can see that it will be helpful. Please seek out some in person help in addition to coming here.

To Maedi, I just wish my family and friends would understand that even though they are hurt because they think I'm upset, i'm really not, its a release. If only they knew that I was actually happier doing it.

i can tell you one thing though, the happiness won't last for long. i've been there, in various ways, and now after 15 years of a life not worth living im seriously tired of it all. all ocds or addictions seem great to begin with because they do give us a relief we cant find anywhere else, but then they slowly but surely destroy us.

how would you fele if you saw all those scars on your friend or anyone of yoru family?

im not trying to talk you down here or anything but it saddens me to see that havent seen the severity of all this yet. and im worried that others on here will follow your example of 'feeling good' and stick to cutting when they actually wanna stop.

just keep thinking about it. we're here for you when you're ready!

love
maedi

For my friends or family that do it, they hate doing it. It makes them feel awful and they want to stop and get help. I don't see why I should get some help for something that I love that makes me feel great and its not illegal and if I always keep my cuts shallow and clean I don't get the point of stopping.

Hi, makeupmonster,

Yeah, but wouldn't it be great to be able to open up to someone who understands why you cut?
Someone who would listen to you talk about your feelings so that you know you are not crazy and not alone?

I think it is important to get to the truth about why you injure yourself. Oftentimes people who cut themselves are in pain over something bad that happened in childhood that they don't want to talk about, or it can also be that they were emotionally deprived as children...and in our achievement-oriented, "busy", fucked-up, feel-good society that may often be the case because parents are too tired or busy, or they never learned how to deal with negative emotions.(their own or their childrens)

Cutting serves a purpose, so of course you don't want to give it up, but a therapist would help you learn new ways of coping...btw, be sure to seek out a therapist who is trained in self-injury. It is unethical for someone untrained in SI to treat you, and could even make you feel worse.

Let me know how it goes, Merri

I know i'm not crazy and that i'm not alone. I know i'm fucked up and that I cut myself because I have underlying problems and I accept that and I don't care if other people see it or understand it or accept it too.

You are not crazy, there is just something deep inside that is hurting you. Your mother is asking because of concern for you. She does not understand because these are different time we are living in. There is so much out there that people just don’t understan. I am sure that if you were to explain to her that you are going through something and that as soon as you had a few visits with a therapist you will be able to talk with her she will understand. She should understand that we can’t just let it all out at once, it takes time to get to the center of it all and that takes time. You hang in there and try and take it easy.

Making friends being well liked was an issue that I thought that I survived jr high. Now after college, having children, and being married I am the lonliest that I have been since I was 14. Started a new job in a call center where everyone is involved in a "click" I am the outsider who everyone overlooks. My husband is in the military, gone atleast 80% of the time, my children are toddlers and family members do not believe me when I tell them how lonley I have become. This is a new to me. If anyone out there understands or cares please reatch out to me.

I care and feel for you. There is nothing more hurtful than to feel alone. I scream inside because I feel that people don’t hear my plea for help. I found this site and it does help. I just wish that people in life cared this much. You can call on me.

i'm in high school, I have friends, and i'm not complaining about my mom not getting me a therapist. I'm glad. I don't cut because of the circumstances in my life, I just like doing it. I do it when i'm happy, when I'm bored, when I find out good news, its not always when i'm upset. its just like when you decide you're hungry and without thinking about it you just eat. when I decide I want to cut not much goes through my head accept to go and cut.

There has to be a reason. I have never done it so I would not know what the feeling would be like. I and only think that there is something going on deep inside and that you need to let it out. No matter what I hope you get the chance to see someone and get to let it out that way.

Sometimes the reasons can be really hard to find. I hurt myself in several ways for different reasons. I cut myself just because blood facinates me and I pull hairs out just because they bug me and I can do it for an hour straight.

Dear friend, I don't understand all this but I promise you this I will not judge you. I will just be here and try to help you find ways to redirect what it is that you are doing. There is no way for me to point a finger because I have not be in this situation. Just know that you are not alone and can feel safe here.

I really don't see the point in getting help if I don't want to stop and my family thinks I stopped years ago and my friends are supportive of it.

I’ve been reading your comments and you really need to stop and think about do you really want help? I used to cut too. But I got to the root of the problem and learned how to deal with my anxiety in better ways other than punishing myself. What the other members are saying to you about it being a temporary relief or high or rush is true. But your defensive responses, concern me. You understand that you do it because you have underlying issues but it is obvious that you are not ready to face them. You give the impression that you don’t think it’s a big deal but why would you be writing about it here if you really didn’t think it was? Start working things out by asking yourself, why is it so hard to stop? You give the impression that it’s just something you do all the time. Why do you have to do it?

I found out later after I was much older and could better understand that friends who support you in self injury are not truly being friends. You most likely will not understand that until you are able to experience a wider range of friendships.

I am going to give you my opinion on why cutting is bad. What I say may not help but I am willing to give it a try.

I too used to cut for what I would say was no reason. The rush from the cutting felt so good. To me it was better than smoking or getting high. I was careful not to cut so deep that I would ever scar. I was careful to put medicine on it to make sure it would heal clean. There was nothing wrong in what I was doing.

This was all thru junior and senior high and into college. While in college I was date raped. Things got bad for me emotionally and I was cutting really seriously for a while. I thought I could handle it cause I always did before. But then since I was cutting regularly I did get infections. Thankfully I still never scared. I started to not get the high from it. I needed to cut more often and deeper to get the release.

I finally started talking to a rape counselor and in talking to them realized that there really was a reason it did it long ago. I was abused as a child and in order to deal with it literally had forgotten about it. I put it completely away. No way was it going to get to me. However even though I had actually made myself forget what occurred my sub conscious had not. That is why I was cutting all along. To deal w/ the memories that I couldn't handle.

So how does that compare to you. You are cutting now just because you like it... but I truly believe that there is something causing the need for it.

Also I worry that like me one day shallow cuts that don't get infected wont be enough. It is easier to stop it before the habit becomes and addiction. And it is easier to stay stopped the sooner you deal with it.

Also I think you are asking us for a reason to stop because you truly want to. You are trying to find a reason that makes enough sense to make you want to stop. You didn't ask why you should continue... you asked why you should stop cause that is truly the answer you are looking for.

I hope you get help and make it through. I will worry for you.