Newbie needs support

I am sober today but I am so mad at myself for my drinking. Just found this site and trying to figure out how to post and all. I am having a hard day...

Welcome to Support Groups, glad your sober today keep up the good work & talk/vent w/us anytime you feel like it, dont be hard on yourself.

Take care of you.

April

April, Thank you for your kind words. I’m overwhelmed, down and your words help. Kristina

Seek out bluidkiti shes an expert on leading people through these obstacles. I'm sorry your overwhelmed, can you say whats really stressing you out that you feel you have to drown the pain?

Hi chasing kristine,
My name is Megan and I'm new here too. I recently have been urged to get help with my alcohol abuse so I'm trying this out. I get mad at myself sometimes, but you have to remember this is a disease process with a physical addiction so it won't go away in one night. If you take things day by day and focus on your little accomplishments, you might feel proud of yourself. You should be proud for taking this first step forward, somtimes it's the hardest. I didn't drink this weekend...I felt weird, but good. It was nice to be coherent! Do you mind telling your story? I can share more of mine if you'd like. Hope to hear from you.

Hi Megan and April, My story I hate to even admit it all… I am 47. I had a difficult and lonely childhood. There are isms on both sides of my family. I married young (21) after eight years of marriage I had 2 wonderful, smart children. Husband totally decompensated under the pressure of family life. He started acting really strange and we separated when my daughter was three and son five. He has no contact with us now, sort of just dropped out. Kids are 17 and 15 now. My drinking began when after ex left I was forced to move in with my mother. She resented my kids and me moving in and did so only under “obligation”. That was 1998/1999 my Drinking gradually increased. I was definitely self medicating anxiety. Last four years or so binge drinking blackouts, one DUI, fell broke my nose in 3 places & ripped lip almost off and worst of all many many times driving with my kids in car while intoxicated. My kids have seen me drunk countless times. I don’t want to hurt them anymore and I don’t want to hurt myself. I need to stay sober!!! I have purchased on-line Antabuse my first dose will be tonight. I’m scared to take this drug w/o Dr. advice but more scared not to take drug. I am possibly to the point where I want to stop drinking more then I want to continue. I am scared because I’ve felt like this before then time passes w/o drinking and I feel a little better and then the cycle continues binge/self-loathe/abstain/feel better/binge/… I am very embarrassed of my irresponsible selfish behaviors. I hope I can find an on-line sponsor. All these years I have firmly resisted AA meetings but I did my first on-line AA meeting today and that was good. Do either of you know of anyone who could do this for me. Thanks for being out there.

Good advice Megan, one also sleeps better too, anyway welcome aboard too.

Thanks for sharing your story with us. It's great that you are taking steps in the right direction with getting into an online AA support group. My counselor wants me to do that as well, but I'm scared! What site are you using? Do you have a counselor? If not, I would strongly recommend one. I was so skeptical of getting help before, but I met a counselor that I connected with and I am so much better for getting help. Now, even if I refuse to be accountable to myself, I feel accountable to her. She helps me realize that I can do this for myself. Yes your children are important, in fact they are probably the most important people in your life...but this journey starts with you. I have tried to do so many things before for others...and I always failed. So this time, I am going to try and quit for myself. Have faith in yourself, know that you can do this. Take it one day at a time and focus on the small things that you can be proud of!

yes try this link

http://www.recovery-world.com

what is that a picture of…ferrets?

Thanks for the link, I will have to check it out. And yes those are ferrets :) I have two and they make me smile!

Megan let me know what you think of that site.. http://www.recovery-world.com the lounge is open 24/7
people seem VERY welcoming and supportive. I just peeked in on them (shh I'm at work) and everyone was Hi! welcome back! good to see your post!....very nice

ps - I love your ferrets!!! Absolutley adorable!

Kristina

kristina,
i'm on it right now and so far it's great. thanks!