I am new to supportgroups.com. I found this website, trying to find help on sex addiction. It took me a while to admit that I had a sex addiction. I came to realize it one day, when I spent the whole entire day looking up masterbation videos. I had put a block on my laptop, but I was sitting there with the password in my hand to unlock the blocked websites. I had convinced myself that it wasn't wrong because what really got me was looking up hardcore porn. Which was only lesbian porn. It made me confused about my sexual orientation. But the masterbation porn, to me, was harmless. At first I looked up porn tailored to women, then I went to the hardcore. I found myself doing this until I looked at the clock and it was 10:30 at night. When I came out of my room my eyes were trying to adjust to the light, and one of my sisters said that she hasn't seen me all day. I felt so guilty. I was upset with myself. I had tried before to stop but it is so hard. I had been addicted to porn since I was 13, because I had been introduced to sex at a very young age. I found that I can stop, but once I see it again, I get in deeper than before. I feel like a crack addict, and I hate this. It makes me feel like a terrible person. No one else knows about this, other than one of my sisters that I told, but I still feel horrible after I've spent my day watching, or thinking about sex. I'm not sexually active, thank goodness, but it is still a huge problem for me.
how long have you been trying to stop it?
also have you ever seen any videos on how on brain is working when looking at pornagraphy?
I can relate. I have been addicted to porn since I was 13 and I am not sexually active either. I don't know how much help I can offer since I am trying to stop, myself but if you ever need someone on here to talk to then message me.
Hi,
Well I am someone that very much understands what you are going through. I am very addicted to sex and mostly satisfy my cravnings through masturbation as I do not want to bring another person into my very conflicted life. Acutally I give my self permission because I am not harming anyone but me and all I am doing is satisfying my bodies need for release. My sexual interest have become so perverse mostly because i suffered from Abuse as a young boy by a man so some of the chats and pictures are of a Pedophillia nature. I have NEVER acted out any of my fantasies and will not but in the selcusion of my home I fantasize about how good it felt to be touched by this man and how I want to be young again. Crazy isn't it. Anyway I am posting here to see if I can help anyone else by letting you know you are not alone. I always tell myself that is it I will not do this anymore but my brain keeps pulling me to chat rooms and dirty pictures. the high and the powerful orgasms i obtain cannot be duplicated in a relationship and this is what I am mostly afraid of. I am so screwed up and sometimes I think that the only time I will have peace is when I am laying horizontial.
thanks
Hi guys,
Unfortunately, sexual addiction is a progressive disease, so although you're not acting out with anyone else at this time, you will, eventually, progress to that type of behavior. Whether it will involve prostitutes, one night stands, or children, you will eventually get to that point. That's the only thing that's guaranteed about this addiction. The solution to the problem, of course, involves you all getting into some sort of a recovery program for this thing, and fortunately, there is all kinds of help available today.
If you'd like to stop your sexual behaviors and get your life back, then there are certain steps you can take to do that. First, however, you need to know a little about sexual addiction so that you'll have some idea of what you're going to be dealing with. The quickest and easiest way to learn about this disease is to read a book or two that deals with it, so therefore, I'd like to suggest a few books to get you all started on your recovery.
The first book I'd suggest you all read is titled, "Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction", by Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D. This was the first book ever written about sexual addiction that was meant for the general public, and it's still one of the best books available on the subject. It will provide some basic information to get you started. For the guys, I would also like to suggest a book titled, "Lonely All the Time: Recognizing, Understanding, and Overcoming Sex Addiction for Addicts and Co-Dependents", by Ralph Earle, Ph.D., Gregory Crow, Ph.D., and Kevin Osborn. For the ladies, I'd suggest you read, "Women, Sex, and Addiction: A Search for Love and Power", by Charlotte Kasl, Ph.D. And if Internet pornography is a part of your addiction, then you (guys and ladies) might want to take a look at, "In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free From Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior", by Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D., David L. Delmonico, Ph.D., Elizabeth Griffin, M.A., and Joseph M. Moriarity. All of these books are available from: www.amazon.com.
Once you're read the books, you might want to take a look at an online resource called Recovery Nation (www.recoverynation.com/). This is an treatment program of sorts that works very well with sex and porn addictions. It consists of a series of written exercises which you can work at your own pace, and in the privacy of your own home. Or, if you'd prefer, you can work with a mentor for a small fee. Either way you go, YOU WILL SEE RESULTS when you work this program as prescribed.
The next thing you need to check out are the Twelve Step groups (similar to Alcoholics Anonymous) that exist specifically for sex and porn addicts. There are five (5) such national groups which together sponsor thousands of weekly support group meetings in cities and towns all across the U.S. Group names, websites, and phone numbers are as follows:
Sexaholics Anonymous (S.A.)
www.sa.org/
(866)-424-8777
Sex Addicts Anonymous (S.A.A.)
saa-recovery.org/
(800)-477-8191
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (S.L.A.A.)
www.slaafws.org/
(210)-828-7900
Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (S.C.A.)
www.sca-recovery.org/
(800)-977-HEAL
Sexual Recovery Anonymous (S.R.A.)
www.sexualrecovery.org/
NO NATIONAL PHONE NUMBER LISTED
On each of the websites, you should be able to find a listing of all of that particular fellowship's registered group meetings. This listing will be indexed by states, and then by individual cities and towns within that state. Each group listed will show the day of the week the group meets, where it meets, and what time they get together. If there is something listed on one or more of the websites that would work for you, given the time and location of the meeting, I would STRONGLY ENCOURAGE you to drop in on a few of their meetings so you can see what they groups are like and what they have to offer. Local support groups like there are a great way to get some local support for your recovery efforts, plus make a new friend or two along the way. And ladies, you need to be aware of the fact that more women go to the Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous groups than the others. So if you can find something on that website that will work for you, these groups might be a bit more comfortable for you since you won't be the only female in the group. Of course, you are always welcome at any and/or all of the groups, but I just thought I'd throw that idea out there for your consideration.
If there are no groups listed in your area, or what is listed won't work for you due to scheduling conflicts, then check out the telephone and online group meetings. Information on both of these groups will also be found on each of the websites. And please be aware that each of the fellowships do offer their own groups, so be sure to check each website for these phone and online meetings. While these groups aren't the same as "in person" groups, they are a lot better that what you have now in the way of local recovery support, which is absolutely nothing.
The final piece to your recovery puzzle will involve each of you getting into therapy. No addict can overcome this addiction without some therapeutic intervention along the way. This addiction is just too involved and complex to try to go it alone. We all need some help along the way. Now a lot of addicts find that they have better luck with therapy if they talk with a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist (C.S.A.T.), and you can find lists of these people on two (2) different websites:
Sex Help
www.sexhelp.com/
Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health
www.sash.net/
You can also find hundreds of addition recovery resources on each of these websites, so please, take your time reviewing these sites so that you don't accidentally miss something.
So there you go, a few ideas to get you all started on a recovery program for your sexual/porn addiction. I hope something here proves helpful. If you have any questions, or need some clarification on some point I made in this response, please feel free to get back to me. I'm always happy to help in any way I can. You all take care, and best of luck to you.
Charlie
Board/Panel Manager
Stay busy, with productive things, and don't let the guilt isolate you. This addiction is good at isolating us and keeping us away from support. I wish you the best.
I am understanding your sister knows. What if she chose the password for you? Having someone who you trust can help.
you and 99% of males and almost as many females spend 23 out of every 24 hours thinking about sex. It will do you no harm. what is essentially means is that you are lonely. you do not need a recovery program...you need friends...friends who share or understand your loneliness.
Admitting that your a sex addict is a big first step. You have seen how you felt during withdrawal. I denied it myself thinking 'I’m not hurting anyone. But, your on SG, and a lot of us are willing to help. and get the help needed for our own issues. This is a beginning, not an end, to take back our livelihood and rid ourselves of a dual identity. I click on your support button, so you know your not alone 
This is our chance not to let sex addiction consume our lives. Let’s get it back!!!
all i am doing is presenting another point of view to those generally held. my point is that porn addiction is not in itself a bad thing. it is society's paranoia about sex and pornography that causes individuals to become frightened of their natural instincts. this is what causes stress. just relax and enjoy your passions or seek alternative pastimes.
@madison2014
People can certainly disagree as to whether porn is a bad thing. Even in sex addiction groups, each member is free to decide for him or her self what constitutes addictive behavior. People can also disagree about the extent to which society has an unhealthy attitude about sex. But to say that addiction itself is not a bad thing is something quite different. I do not see how that attitude is consistent with the purpose of this group.