Night Eating

It's coming back to me....

EATING AT NIGHT dun dun dun duuuuun.

Sorry, it's not a joke. My stomach hurts so bad right now because I shoved my face with food that I could've avoided had I just gone to bed when I came home from swim practice. I told myself the entire day "go to bed when you get home!!!" Did I? Of course not. AAAARGH

How could I be so silly as to think that my old habits would leave me and that I would be able to lose weight??!??!? Wtf i was doing well but then there's always food. It's like I can't control myself.

Sunday is my first pool party of the season. GREAT!!! Time for me to feel even more awful about myself.

I need support. I don't know what to do and how to feel good about myself in a healthy way.

Help?

bassoonist...I'm sorry you are in pain. If you were restricting in an attempt to lose weight, it's not surprising that biology would take over and bring on the urges to binge. Are you seeing a therapist? Have you tried to balance your eating with a plan that provides you with adequate calories and variety to try to offset the urge to binge? Dieting to lose weight is your number one enemy in recovery.
You can do this, but you need a plan. Please seek professional help, and if you already have a therapist, talk to him/her about helping you with a consistent plan. Wishing you well....Jan ♥

Yes I see a therapist on a weekly basis, and I’ve been going to the hospital and seeing a doctor who specializes in ED’s weekly as well. But, I’ve been gaining weight. I’ve been gaining weight even though when I came in we said it’s ok if I lost weight and they could help me with that… But I’ve gained a lot of muscle too so maybe that’s what’s up. It’s just really distressing :-/

Hmm....it could be that the weight is at least partially muscle if you have been 'working out'. Your body may be trying to settle at the 'set point' that is healthiest for you. After suffering with an eating disorder, it takes time for your body to begin to normalize again. Please try to be patient and stick with the 'plan'. It will serve you in the end.....take care...Jan ♥