i joined this place a couple of days ago, and ive been trying to post something ever since but i always got scared and logged out. im so afraid of rejection i guess. ive lost about 10 friends these past two years, most of them giving up on me.
i have BP depression, ive tried to kill myself 13 times, i cut, and i starve myself. i had a counselor for awhile but i cant afford that anymore.
...........im really wanting to delete this and logout again. im just at my ropes end and i dont have enough strength to pull myself up. i usually lay in my closet(my safe place) for hours at a time, trying to escape the pain. im done with this life.
i just want to know someone cares.....
i care! i don't know you or your story, what your life has been like. I know that desparation though, that hoplessness, that lack of fight, but your life matters. You may not see it now. Don't give up. be strong. There are so many people here that would love to help you get through this hard time. Take care of yourself and be safe.
We all care! I'm glad you reached out. That was the hardest part. :)
I am looking forward to your next post too. Always remember you are not alone. Many of us are just like you.
As for a therapist: If you do not have the money there are possibilities out there for you. Please do not think you are on your own. There are some awesome resources that could be within your reach and financial situation. If you can give us the State that you live in, maybe someone can compile a list of places for you. :)
thanks guys...i found a free support group in my area. ill be going this week. hopefully this is the key. im just hoping it wont end in failure again.
people say that my life is, but why then has so many people given up on me...that seems like too many coincidences.
hopeless .... please do not put all your eggs in one basket. This might not be your only solution and/or even the right one.
I really didn't want to phrase it like that but ...
The idea here is to reach out and find something that will help you. Support groups can be awesome if they are done right. I have gone to many but due to my unique situation it is very hard for me to find one where people don't want to run.
Also, you may relapse to various degrees in the future. I have no idea to what severity that will be .... but it is likely that it will happen.
The most important thing to do is to start thinking positively about the process of healing. It's not easy if you are very negative person, which I use to be. However, after time it has not only become possible but it is now a very affective coping skill.
As for people giving up on you: I have no idea what has happened to you or why this would be so. I have learned that people seem to feel this way because they are so ill equipped to help you. Therefore, it is very beneficial to reach out to others like yourself. We do understand. We have been there before.
Congrats for reaching out. Congrats on finding a local support group. :)
i dont put them all in one basket anymore. i've tried to get help a lot, and 98% of the time it does not end well. i do try to think positive but with my brain, it has a mind of its own(no pun intended).
i will eventually put my story up on here..im just not ready yet.
Whenever you are ready to tell us is fine. :)