no matter what i do, my parents see it as wrong. it's constant;y running through my mind how my mother told me i was their biggest disappointment. i hate myself for it. I hate that i can never be enough. i hate that i'm not someone they are proud of. i hate that i hate myself. i sit here and listen to them ridicule my every move and i suddenly can't feel my body. i can't breathe. i sit there and think about how i just want to end it because i hate that all i ever am seen as is an idiot and a disappointment. although i know it isn't the answer, the idea of escaping the constant judgment by my own family is relieving. goddamn how i wish it were that easy.
That's a terrible thing your mom said. None of this is your fault, please know that. I think as humans we try to be perfect and make others happy, but in reality were no where near perfect no matter how hard we try. Just be the best you, that's all that matters. You matter. Your special and one of a kind, and your great just the way you are. When you feel sad because of the mean things your parents are saying, try to focus on your great quilities about yourself, or you could be really depressed and believe everything they say. You have a purpose here on earth, you are here for a reason. If you haven't found your purpose I promise you that you will. Are you old enough to move out of your parents house? Because if your not, maybe you could try to talk with your parents and talk to them about how much their words hurt you. Tell them how you feel, then hopefully you and your parents will have an understanding.