So, I'm 5 days late and decided to take a pregnancy test today with my husband, but it came back negative, again. AAAHHHHH!!!!!! I shouldn't have even gotten my hopes up that we could NATURALLY get pregnant! What a rediculous notion! <>
OK, this is my first post in this group. I've found this site a few days ago and have been finding it helpful in other areas, but haven't yet breached this area until today, as the above has led me to be depressed enough to finally want to.
We have been trying for 6+ years to get pregnant. We started normally like everyone else, then went to ovulation tests, then doctors for all sorts of tests, then artificial incemination, and then IVF... 4 times. The 3rd time nearly killed me. The doctor didn't watch my reaction to the hormones closely enough and followed the text book method, which led to my producing 50 eggs... yes, you read right 50 freaking eggs. I broke the hospital record (lucky me). However, I ended up with Ovarian Hyper Sensitive Syndrome, to the 3rd (and worst) degree. Only 1-3% of all women who do IVF have experienced it... oohhh, I'm an elite. <>
So, I get OHSS, my kidneys fail, my body fills wih enough fluid in a matter of days that I look as though I'm 6-7 months pregnant. The weight of the fluid is so heavy that I can't stand up straight and it put immense pressure on my back, leading to excrusiating pain, but that was the easy part. My organs are all floating in liquid rejected from my failing kidneys, which as you can imagine is dangerous and could have led to a heart attack, stroke, or some other nasty problem. I can't eat, go to the bathroom, even breathe on many occastions. No sleep... for weeks! To top it off my body would go numb on me. In the rare instance I did get a half hour or full hour of sleep, I would be awoken by the pain of the numbness in my entire body. The freakiest was one early AM experience on the couch. My husband had fallen asleep (poor thing was trying to keep my company all hours of the night as I was truly suffering and would cry and move around constantly cuz I couldn't stay in one place too long because of the pain in my back and legs). So I must have nodded off for a little bit and I woke up to not only have my arms and legs be numb, but my entire face! I could only move my eyes! I felt like I was in a hanibal lector movie being tortured!! It took me a full 5 minutes to regain movement in my cheeks and mouth to be able to talk to tell my husband to take me to the hospital.
Our doctor, a relative of my husband's, did not want me to go to the hospital though. Despite my negative reactions (filling with fluid), he inserted a dosage of fertilized eggs and wanted me to wait the 2 weeks to see if I was pregnant before I went to the hospital! It was "normal" that I filled like a balloon and was going numb all the time, so he said. Some women just have that reaction. <>
The big time problem was that I actually did end up getting pregnant (for the 1st time!). However, my blood levels were such that even my dietician told me my body coudn't sustain it and I had to wait 19 days for my body to abort it. While I was filled with fluid to look like 7 months pregnant. While I understood and felt like it would feel like to be pregnant, knowing I was, and waiting for me to not be any more. That was a killer. Definitely the things nightmares are made of.
Our stupid ass doctor was to fault. And oh, where do I begin? After thankfully making it through the above, I did a lot of research, as did my husband to find a new doctor. We took our binder full of records elsewhere and learned the following: (1) the doctor used an extremely aggresive treatment for me at my age (should have been done 10 years later), (2) the amount of hormones should have been reduced when he as I was produing "thousands of eggs" - as he called it, (3) the shot they give you a couple of days prior to harvesting the eggs was both too large and a medicine that is no longer used in the procedure because it is too harsh on the system and lasts too long, (4) they NEVER should have inserted the embryos because once I showed signs of OHSS it was a given that -1- if I did get pregnant it would make my symptoms worse, which it did -- I ended up in the hospital for a week and bed-ridden for 3--, and -2- that my body would abort it because of my blood levels and hormones being all over the place.
But lucky me, I had 2 more doses of frozen embryos to use. It only took me months to work up the courage to call the doctor (without crying) to attempt to even go back and have them inserted. All that was a year ago. I went back once for the frozen batch, but have not yet done the second. I'm deathly afraid of hormones now (no pun intended).
So anyway, we have been enjoying each other more lately, in new ways, and I'm 5 days late. But the freaking pregnancy test tells me I'm not prenant. GOD, can't you give me just a little bit of help here???? Just a little??? PLEASE????!!!!