I am 42 years old with two teenage boys. I am disabled with Fibromyalgia, Degenerative joint disease, Severe diabetes, rapid cycling bipolar 1, social anxiety, and PTSD. I have been seeing my MD for everything for 4 years now. She has been prescribing my lithium 1200mg daily, seroquel 200mg a night, and celexa all for my bipolar. Now she tells me she wont be handling my mental illnesses anymore and I will need to see a Psych doc. She knows I wont see one because of bad experiences in the past and I cant trust Psych docs.
The only other choice I have is to self medicate and that is very temporary and brings problems of its own. I have been without meds one other time and ended up in the hospital. I am ready to throw in the towel and let it all run its course and whatever happens will happen. I have been fortunate and never been a danger to anyone else just myself, so what the hell.
Please don't give up!! I am sorry this has been dumped on you like that!! GEEZ!! You said that you had a bad experience with a Psychiatrist... Could you elaberate at all? Just wondering because it might help us to give better advice and support. You've already seen what happens when you just go off meds without tapering with doctor and I hope you won't do that again.
I say all this and I want you to know, that I have been through the deciding to just go off all the **** medicine and it just doesn't turn out well. I think personally, that you are probably going to have even better treatment with a psychiatrist because they know alot more about your challenges.
I am very sorry for what you are going through but I am glad you found this place!! You are safe here to vent, or laugh or cry and you will find people who can relate to you and who will support and love you through your journey. I have met some of the most amazing people here and you will too!!
Hi Suzee and thanks for the hugs. I dont want to go off my meds but before I go back to a psychiatrist I will come of of them. The last psychiatrist I saw contacted my ex and told him to take custody of my two boys because no one with bipolar should have kids.
My kids are well cared for by me and they are happy kids. They have never been abused or seen abuse. When my bipolar goes out of control the only one I want to harm is me. I have never hurt another person.
I have been to several psychiatrists and they were a joke. I was able to manipulate them before they could ever get anything out of me. All they are is pill pushers and I take too many already.
I am just really tired of fighting all the mental and physical battles when they can only treat the symptoms and not the disease itself. I am tired and worn down from the fight I have been fighting alone. My support group is non existant except the few that call me crazy. I feel like I am fighting a giant and he is winning.
Wow. So glad to see that other people can relate to how I feel:
I agree that a lot of these psychiatrists (and psychotherapists) are simply pill-pushers, and that telling such a person everything about me gives them the power to control my life.
I also agree that I sometimes resent having to take the medication. But whenever I have tried to self-medicate, I spiraled out of control.
So now I humbly obey and take them, realizing that I am never going to be able to live without those little pills. Sad, really, that I (who was once a vibrant, cheery, spontaneous person) has now been reduced to a passive, medicated tired old lady.
I guess that is what a dysfunctional childhood and 40 years of societal stress does to a person.
i would never hurt anyone either...don't want to hur t myself....meds are super strong...im sensitive...they destroyed my stomach...a boby part that worked before med.....made me fall..destroyed my hair...zombied me out...side effects...meds helped a little...but, overall...made me not functional on ther own.....their like arsonal...keep looking for help...not easy...but, keep trying. right doctor and meds and counseling...keep seeking for the right combination....
I have been there and back I know all of the symptoms that you are having I resented taking meds until I went off of them did not see a doctor and wham! in the hospital where I still decided that I did not need meds wham! could not get out by court order for up to a year if I did not take meds So I took them worn out from fighting My life may not have been the best I would have asked for
But luckily for me they do not fully work so have the pleasures and pain but I am not a zombie only been in the hospital twice and once I asked to be put in depressed
But the end of this is my life has recently took a change for the better I am writing I have the talent for it and due to my background of reading and working in a Library I know how to do research
My blogs are about mental illnesses all types I recently went to DSM and found more that I can write about I have written over 200 posts and still counting I know the fight is terrible at times but until you try to find right meds right doctor and even if they are not fully effective Miracles can happen I am living proof
Dont fight the disorder work with it it can bring surprises to you and self medicating never works
If you can read this I write funny sometimes have to put thoughts on paper fast so Try Try Try and keep yourself in the future not the past