Not liking my mind going down memory lane...granted we are i

Not liking my mind going down memory lane...granted we are in a better place but I will never understand how a godly man could cheat for such a long time. We attended a Christian marriage talk when the affair
was going on, we spent so many wonderful times together...that question I will never probably get an answer too. Not sure why these last couple days have been so rough. Time...only time

3 Hearts

That's all you can do is give it time and time for you to heal. Your right though you most likely will never know why.. Please know we are all here for you.. Many hugs to you :-)

1 Heart

Time is our friend and our enemy. I think if we heal too soon, we may not learn from it. But I do wish it's sooner rather than later. Yet I know we will survive.

1 Heart

I am in the same boat as you with this. My husband is a Godly man and i struggle to figure out why he did this? what possessed him to have sex with someone. It's been a year since he ended the affair (so he says because i can't trust him) but its been 7 weeks since he told me because of the guilt eating him away. After the affair everything that was broken to him stated to get fix, so we were doing great besides what just happened. Sometimes I try to ask myself what needs to be fixed, because what he says was broken has been fixed. I'm confused all the time. He repented and I try to understand that God is doing what he is doing in this marriage. And I know that he forgives him and I look up to my Father to do the same but it's so tough. I'ms sorry you are going through this too

@Jdimples005. We seem to have the exact situation. Apparently things started to become good between us…so he says and he couldn’t go on with the affair. He tried to end it many times. And here I was blind that anything was wrong. He was selfish and admits it. We have been to many counseling sessions. It has helped. He knows he hurt me and takes full responsibility. You will get thru this. Time…time…time

@Snowgirl23 - Right there with you. I try to tell my wife that I so badly want to move forward and look at how much she has changed but leaving the past in the past has been really difficult for me as well. My wife says she completely understands.

Some of the things I've asked her are:
- While you were sleeping with someone else, you blamed me for all of our marriage problems. How can I forgive this?
- You gave him a part of you that only I should have. How could I want you that way again?
- You shared things with him over the internet. How will I ever trust your judgement?
- You had sex with him in the home we made together. How can I forgive this?
- How do I forgive an affair that lasted a quarter of our marriage?

As a Christian, the 4 weeks leading up to Christmas is called Advent. Advent has several purposes but one of them is to offer people your grace or forgiveness. Jesus was the living example of God's grace. I've told my wife that I am trying to offer her my grace as God wants me to but I'm only human and I'm really struggling with it due to the above questions and many many more.

1 Heart

@Piwo33 I know exactly what you mean. Its so tough and the process is not easy . I husband that he gave himself to.someone else. I as his wife was suppose to be the only one, the last one he ever was suppose to be now he has taken that away from me. I’m no longer the last one, she has that and always will have it. I know it something small but it’s important to me. I’m trying to forgive him and it’s hard but my eyes 'are trained on the Lord and I believe good will come from this. I’m praying for you.

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