Nothing Can Touch Me ( my mission statement)

Hello my friends,

Today, I am addressing the topic of 'people pleasing". Now, I know that with eating disorders, a lot of us have this insatiable habit of trying to please others. This need not be. In trying so hard to fit in, we are killing ourselves. This is WRONG. This is no way to live life; life was given to us so we could appreciate and be the individual person we are.

When I first started recovering , one of the first things that got me better from ED is NOT caring what others think. Yes, what other people think is none of my business!( right jen?) I am not going to live my life according to other's rules but my own. I have my OWN thoughts, uniqueness, ideas, and perception that is mine and mine alone. I do NOT have to surerender to anyone else's thought proccess of conform my ideas/thoughts to be like them. MY self, my thoughts my ideas are just as worthy as anyone else's. I do not care for what others think of me because I am my own beckon of light that shines through the day and into the night. I do not need anyone to steal that shimmering light that exists inside my soul , for i was born for a purpose. That purpose is to be unique, different, to help others , and to love one another and to pursue my dreams and goals . Every one has the given right to pursue their own happiness. NO one has to alter their belief system according to other's ideas/ thoughts. We were all born to be different not alike.

I do not need validation from others. What others think does not define me. I mean, why would i want their ideas and thoughts when I have my own brain to function for myself? I do not need their dumb approval to live my life. I was given validation the second I was conceived, and that given life is MY life--not anyone elses. I will live it to the fulllest and not bend my own needs for someone elses core beleifs. Others do not pay my rent, live my life, go through my struggles, know about my pain nor do they have anything to do with MY LIFE. I , alone , posses the power to define my own state of being and life. NO one else will ever be able to take that authority and never will.

I created my own self identity- not through others but what I deemed fit: which has nothing to do with the way I look, my fashion statement, my back account, my success, my social status, my husband, my car, my house, my hair, my jewlery, my possession, my house, or any one else's opinion. Who I want to be is totally in my hands not theirs. I can define anything I want myself to be and no one has any right to take or impress their ideas onto me. I am my OWN being; I have the right to be.

NO one can ravage the torch from my soul, nor can anyone change my belief system. What I look like and do and say is no one elses concern and should not be. If I don't fit into their 'organization' then, fine, I was'nt meant to ... for people who love me will love me no matter what.

I do not care what others think. I am me, will always be forevermore.

I would rather live and be happy and not fit in, than be miserable and die trying to fit in.

Thanks for reading this,

Love you guys!

Maureen

You are so right! We should only care about what we think and not other people. I especially like your last sentence, i would rather be considered weird ugly and fat then die trying to fit in.
Anna

anna darling, do remember exactly this next time you struggle to eat something!!! it’s great motivation to kick ED in the backside :slight_smile:

thank you gomez! yes, we should only be concerned with what we think and not base our life conforming to others. uniqueness is a gift. if everyone looked the same, woudln't that be so boring???ha....i would hope that people wouldn't think those awful things on anyone( fat ugly weird) but, ha, yes i think you catch my drift! hahhaha

i need not care what others think...

thanks anna!!! thank you so much for your reply it was greatly appreciated!

love and hugz
maureen

i always think i don’t wanna look like everyone else, i don’t wanna be boring, yet i crave that general ideal of a woman. nothing about this is logic or realistic. it’s simply all twisted.
instead we just need to accept who we are!!

thanks maureen :slight_smile:

we also have to know for ourselves that the worst that we think is not how others think about us

love
maureen

Write a book please?!? Again you put thing so beautifully in writing. I feel like I can tell people exactly that when they are having trouble but I can't apply the idea to my own life. Which goes directly back to your point about pleasing everyone else. Making sure everyone else is happy. It's hard for me anyway because i am still young and my parents often guilt me into things or siding with them. It's hard to be my own person when things are forced on me. Let this empower you. Be who you want to be. If people stare who cares! There are always going to be people who love you for expressing your uniqueness. This might be controvercial, but same sex relationships ( i myself am straight) I think are beautiful when they are open and hold hands in public and everything because even though people judge and not everyone accepts it, it's the same principle: they are not doing it to fit in or make people angry or anything, it is who they are and what they believe in an it makes them happy. That confidence itself is beautiful.

thank you so much sonrisas---for your adorable and very very sweet kind and loving demand( to write a book!) ha ---and i WILL.... hhahaha wish my confidence was there on what i can do , but you know what? you guys all make me so wonderfully confident in myself and totally wipe out my bad thought with your loving words. so for that i thank you ...so much, and hmmmm.. i WILL write that book even though i dont think i can! ill prove myself wrong! and thanks so for your compliments, sonrisas---you are so amazingly kind and bright....

just remember on thing sonrisas, you not need anyones validation for anything. you are a seperate being from your parents. they are who they are and you are who you are. thank god i am not my parents! ah! yes my mom forced her crazy beleifs on to me but i had a given right to reject that and create the real me, the true me , the one i want to be! not what she wanted me to be( which was an unhappy miserable unsuccessful piece of crap).

so iam going agaisnt those beliefs and the identity that was create for me... i do not need to rely on anyones identity but my own...

no, sonrisas, i totally get what you are saying about the same sex relationships--and the fact they dont care is beautiful! or when a person puts a pink streak in their hair just to be controversial or does something out of the ordinary... is beautiful too.... something unique is always beautiful , it is the mundane thoughts that ideas that get trashed into us every day that is not beautiful. but individualiy is a step out of the norm, so while people might not get it, it is extraordinay--and greatness. to go above and beyond the norm is amamzing...

being a rebel and standing aside from the crowd takes guts and inner strength----to not go along with everyone else.

be a leader and not a follower....

thanks sooooooooo much sonrisas....

love
maureen

Maureen, this is really beautiful...and inspirational. I agree with sonrisas, you should write a book :)
This is something I really struggle with- not needing validation from others. Even when I am really proud of some accomplishment (which is less often now-Thanks ED), I need someone else to validate it before I am really confident about it. I know I shouldn't need that, but I kind of do...
I also struggle with just being confident in my quirks, like the fact that I'm a geek or don't wear makeup or don't drink alcohol or whatever. WhenI got married, my husband and I chose to have no alcohol at the wedding. Even though it was our wedding- our choice, we got soooo much flack about it. And instead of not caring about what other people thought, I was really torn up about it and cried constantly...I don't know why I can't just be confident and not care what other people think...
Thanks Maureen, for this beautiful piece

chelsea–thank you soo much again, my friend!

but i do wish you would see the beauty that is YOU : i wish you could see the beauty in your uniqueness and just because you are FREAKIN SMART and not like others who like to drink and paaarty harty–doesnt mean you are any less than they are, but GREATER than they are cause you like to study and think and not drink and do wierd things! are you kiding??? that is great–you are above and beyond, and be proud of that, chelsea!

i so hope one day you can see you dont need validation from others…treasure your own self, as it is great…

i know, sometimes i do want validation, say for a dream of mine still( cause i never got that) but really i have to do things for me…

and not look back…

thanks sweetie!

love
maureen

There will only be one you and I am glad that you are standing up and committing to not conform. Only you know and have your own personal vision of who you are and what you want to be in this world. Don't ever let anyone take that away from you. I see so much strength in your words. This strength will propel you along in your recovery :)

thank you so much in understanding my words, and no, i ownt let anyone take this away from me… yes, we all need to look into what we want to be in this world, not what others want us to be…

let su take a stand…

thanks so much, surrender

love
maureen

I've been thinking and I think really embracing this kind of mission statement is the best way to kick ED out for good. I think when we truly treasure our own selves, there is no room for ED in our lives...

yes, chelsea, you got it, girlie!!!–once you can not care about others thoughts upon your own identity—is when ED is—BYE BYE!BYE BYE IDIOT ED!

oh, he might try to come back in, but he has no power over you…

yes chelsea, once we can embrace this as truth, ED IS gone and there is no room for him anymore,and then:

freedom!

love ya
maureen

Just the bit of inspiration I needed to get me through the day, and I have you to thank. Sometimes you really do have to take it up a notch, put on your mental armor, and not have a care in the world about what people think. However, I sometimes take it a bit too far, and have to remind myself not to be so apathetic and cynical.

Always loved this popular, common quote because it rings so true. "The ones that mind don't matter, and the ones that matter don't mind".

thank you so much for your nice reply--your welcome..

yes, you do have to put on your metal armor and not care what others think. which in no essence, is that to mean to be rude, i dont beleive believe in rudeness whatsoever, but
we really need to step up and to get rid of the masquerade..

and i love your quote!

thanks ,
maureen

thank you all, for your beautiful replies and compliments as you guys always know how to cheer me up...

love ya
maureen

No problem, friend. You always know how to cheer us up too!

It's great to hear we can lift you up Maureen. You deserve it. We all do. And you can write that book. If that is what YOU want. If there is a will there is a way. I'm happy I can brighten your day even though I'm probably hundreds of miles away. Let this brightened spirit carry you into a wonderful holiday. We will always be here and if things start heading south, post it. Let us know, I'm sure we can reassure you that you're brilliant in so many different ways. Clearly. And believe me just your response was enough to make me feel like I matter right now. Tough times heading to treatment but you and everyone else here is making it worth it. Making me feel like I might just be worth it.

I’m glad to hear that, Sonrisas. You are DEFINITELY worth it :slight_smile: